Fiction Friction (#21): Spoilers!

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

(Slightly off topic, but show of hands, who read that title in River's voice? :P )

Spoilers have always been an interesting topic for me to discuss with others because I love spoilers. I live for them. I constantly go out of my way to spoil something for myself. [Edit: Due to recent drama, I want to clarify that I never spoil things for other people unless they ask me to. I know most people hate spoilers, and I'd never do that to someone who doesn't want to know. And if any of my posts contain spoilers, I always include spoiler tags so that people know.] Sometimes I regret it; most of the time, I do it shamelessly. I think it all started when I started reading Nancy Drew as a child. I always skipped to the end to see who was the culprit, often even before reading the first page. Maybe it became a habit, maybe I had always destined to love spoilers. But I never minded. I liked doing it, and I began to do that with all the books I read. Then, when I became a fangirl, I started doing the same with TV shows. I would search up spoilers/episode summaries if I didn't get to watch an episode/show live. When I was younger, I never thought it wasn't normal. I knew it wasn't necessarily a common thing, but I didn't know that people would find it wrong or whatnot.

But now I know better. People are so utterly against spoilers. I understand, I do, and sometimes, I'm glad I wasn't spoiled about something. I think that The Fault in Our Stars would have been very different and I wouldn't have experienced it the same way had I known about [***spoilers if you're really that paranoid and/or honestly don't know, but come on***] Augustus dying. But those are a few cases out of many for me. Take, for instance, Allegiant. I haven't read it yet, but I know that whole big spoiler thing, and I don't mind. 

For me, books, movies, TV shows, etc are more about the journey, about the stuff in between. Yes, as I mentioned, there are some spoilers/plot twists I'm glad I didn't hear about and some that I regretted/was sad about knowing before its time, but I'm usually okay with it. Just because you know how something ends doesn't mean that you can't fully experience the rest of it. It doesn't mean you can't still get all the feels when something big/bad happens. 

But now, at what point do I want to know vs. when I'm glad I didn't know beforehand? It's a really fine line for me and one I can only really judge afterward. With TFiOS, I read it soon after it came out and didn't feel the urge to skip to the end. That urge has gotten a lot worse lately, but there are also books like We Were Liars and Every Last Word where I was just so caught up in the story that I didn't really think about skipping ahead. And for both of those, boy am I glad I wasn't spoiled. I think that maybe sometimes, I like spoilers because they're something, a point in a book/tv show/movie/etc, that I can look forward to if I ever get bored or tired or whatever. I don't know how that twist happens, what caused it/led up to it, and so I continue reading because I want to know or because I want to know the effects of it. 

I know, however, that the majority of people hate spoilers and avoid it like it was the Plague or something. Some people just can't understand how people could like, even love, spoilers. They think that it takes away from the experience or detracts from what the creator intended. I don't know. I don't agree with that. 

How do you feel about spoilers? If you hate them/don't like them, why?

Fiction Friction (#20): What I Post on My Blog vs. on Booktube

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially after the whole thing about the blogging and booktube communities. I started thinking about how I use the two platforms differently. Now, I'm barely on Booktube at all, only making and posting videos once in a while. I watch many videos but only occasionally post a comment. I hardly ever promote my videos, and I'm only starting to post non haul/tbr videos. I rarely review books that way because I find it more difficult to articulate my thoughts when I'm speaking (I forget so much and then feel like I'm talking too much/for too long). I have yet to do any tag videos. 

On the other hand, I'm currently a part of three different blogs, and I'll be adding a fourth (not related to books) one soon. It's hard for me to juggle all of them, but I can't imagine giving any of them up. I'll be stepping down to a contributor role on Lit Up Review, which I'm sad about but also relieved about because it'll give me more time to work on keeping up this blog and my new blog while I'm in college. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to be a part of Feminists Talk Books, so even though having Mondays sucks more than I thought it would, I'm trying to keep it up. I've been struggling though, and I feel like I'm letting people (especially my co-bloggers) down. But it's the medium I feel more comfortable with. Yeah, maybe I don't get many views and most people probably don't read my posts, but when I'm feeling bogged down or burnt out, I really enjoy it (ex. this is the 7th post I'm scheduling today).

But I've realized that because the mediums are obviously very different, I think I'm also going to continue to be posting different things on the two. 

Booktube:

• Hauls and TBRs will remain as videos. I now also embed my haul videos in my monthly wrap ups as well
• Tags--I'm really bad at tags in general but especially the ones circulating the blogosphere. With videos, you can do different types of tags--guess the book, rip it or ship it, etc. Those types of tags wouldn't work in print but work very well and are, in my opinion, interesting to watch.
• Top 10s/5s--I know a lot of people post these on their blogs and whatnot, but I find them more exciting to watch. Maybe it's the fact that you can't see them all at once or maybe it's the way the booktubers I watch present it.
• Book Recs--While I like these on both platforms for different reasons, much of the reasoning behind this is similar to the one above

Blogging:

• Reviews--I still feel like I can more accurately and articulately get my opinons across in writing. I might film some book reviews, but it will still primarily be found on my blogs. Plus, while this isn't true of every booktuber, many of them spend around two minutes just summarizing the book, and I don't really need that most of the time. I mostly read reviews for books I've already read or am really anticipating anyway, and in blogging format, I can skip over the synopsis or whatnot much more easily.
• Discussions--Similar to reviews, I feel like my personal discussions on YouTube would be too all over the place. Plus, I think the majority of the audience on booktube isn't really as geared or interested in that in video form. It's more readable and digestable in written form.
• Cover reveals, tours, guest posts, etc--You can't deny that this is so much easier in written form.
• Events--Blogging events galore! For instance, I had a Dance Appreciation Week event, as well as my Summer of Songs events last summer, combining lyrics/music and books. That's just not something that can be done on Booktube.

It's true that there's room for lots of crossover, and of course it's true that these are more my personal preferences. But I think we all see the value in both mediums. They can get different types of information across or present the same information in different ways. Both communities have been welcoming to me, but I've found it easier to find fellow bloggers and to find people to read my blog posts. Not to say that there are many readers anyway, but I think that given the time I put into my blog, it's only to be expected. I'm glad to be a part of both, though I'm still very, very new to booktube. I'm glad to know people in both communities and to see more and more delving into the other. Then there's also the bookstagram community, but that's a little more cross-sectional, with bloggers, booktubers, the mixed, and the solely bookstagramers all in one sphere.

I don't want to talk about the drama that happened or drag it out more than necessary, but it did lead me to think of this and to think about what I do and the types of videos vs. blog posts I post/create.

Fiction Friction (#19): I've Been Having a Hard Time Finishing Books

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I'm not sure if this fits as a Fiction Friction post, but I guess it's a bit of a discussion post, so. I have a confession to make, though if you follow me on Twitter, you might have heard me lamenting about this already (also it's the title of this post). I've been having a very hard time finishing books lately. I keep starting books, then putting them down and starting another. Now, I'm known to be reading a few books at a time, so at first, I didn't find this strange. But for some reason, I haven't been able to just finish a book recently. I've only read two books in June, even though I've had a lot of time more lately. Even after school ended, when I was expecting to read a lot more, I never finished a book. 

I don't know if it's because none of them have been drawing me in or whatever, but it's not like I'm not enjoying the books I'm reading. I just get a little bit bored? Even if they're exciting or even if they're books I really do want to read, I just can't get myself to finish them. Yes Please was easier because they were essays, so I could read one at a time and not feel so bogged down, but even in that case, I had to push through at certain points, knowing I would have to return the book to the library soon. And I read The Broken Hearts' Society because I had to write a review for the blog tour. I really enjoyed that--truly--but even then, there were times when I just wanted to put it down and read something else. Only having that deadline of the blog tour kept me from picking up another book.

But I don't feel that now. Even with books with upcoming release dates or even release dates that have passed me by unintentionally, I'm finding it so hard to stick to a book and read it to the end. I'm also known to read the end of a book, sometimes when I'm still on the first page. It's an impulse I can't help but am now wondering if is hindering me in some way. Like it never used to get in my way, but now that I'm having trouble, I don't know if maybe it's adding to my trouble for some reason?

Maybe I just need a book to blow me away, but it's not like the books I've been trying haven't been great thus far. Maybe I need to take a break from novels and read some of the graphic novels I have to read and review. But I know I can't keep putting this off because I'm running out of books to review and thus posts to post. I'm going to try to push through and finish one book and then switch to one of the two graphic novels I have. Maybe I need to reread a book I love (I'm currently up to CoS in my HP reread, but that's also my least favorite book, so I don't know), but again, I need books to review, so that won't help. We'll see, I guess.

Have you ever been in my predicament? How did you get out of it (naturally wait it out, make yourself sit and finish something, read a comfort/already read book)? Do you have any tips for me?

Friction Fiction (#19): On Creativity, Blogging, and Plateauing

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

So I've been in a rut lately. I'm back into blogging pretty fully now, even though I'm not really reading much still. The first few weeks back I felt really great, and I was really happy with my blog and getting back to it. But as I've gotten back into the swing of things, I've started to feel kind of mehh about it all--not about blogging but about my blog and what I'm doing with it. 

I should explain. I like that I'm getting reviews out there again, although most of it is for books I read while on hiatus. (Again, I haven't read much lately, so I'll need to do that soon or I'll run out of reviews to write.) But I'm also feeling like things are getting monotonous. I feel like my blog doesn't have any creativity to it. It's just me, reviewing and sometimes plugging in one or two other types of posts. I'm not engaging with the blogging community because I can't make the time to do that at the moment, and so I feel out of loop and I wonder if anyone's even still reading my blog. Because I don't know if I would. The thing is, as much as I post reviews, I'm also the kind of person that doesn't read most of other people's reviews either. Once in a while I'll read a review if it's for a book I felt really passionately about, whether good or bad. So I feel like my blog doesn't reflect what I want out of a blog. 

But I don't know what to do about it. I think I've been plateauing. I'm not really getting many views, but I don't like focusing on stats. I just feel like few people read my blog, and I want that to change. I just don't know how. I don't have the creativity to think of new features or types of posts that I want to put out there and that I would want to read. I don't want to share too much of my personal life or whatever on my blog-that's not what it's here for, per say. I have so many interests, but I don't know how to make it cohesive and how to not make them overwhelming. I know I should do more with TV shows and movies and music; my blog has basically become a book blog, though I wanted it to be a mixed blog. 

I got into bookstagram but have found it hard to take picture (time-wise) lately, and I also feel like I don't have ideas as to how to set up pictures so they have the aesthetic I'm searching for. I've always prided myself in being a creative individual, but I've come to question that lately because I feel anything but creative. And I don't know where to go with this blog. I love blogging here, and I like what I'm doing, but I can't help but feel that something's missing. I don't know that I'm getting across to readers--my interests, personality, etc--other than through my reviews, but even then, it's more about the book than myself.

So yeah. I don't know if other bloggers are feeling this way. It's not something that's new for me, but it's been feeling stronger than ever lately. I still feel like I'm out of the blogging community and out of the loop. I feel like it's only going to get worse when I'm in college. I'm also working on a lifestyle/personal blog that I want to launch this summer as I travel and as I prepare to go to college. But that'll have a different aesthetic. I just don't want that to turn into something like this blog too. So I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I like this too much to stop; it's like a part of my routine now. However, I don't know how to continue to grow as I move forward. 

What do you think? Have you had similar issues/thoughts? If you have and have gotten out of it, what helped you to figure it out? What's your advice for me?

Fiction Friction (#18): Multiple POV Stories

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I've always found myself conflicted about stories with multiple POVs, and in some ways, I'm still very conflicted. Sometimes, they're well done and well written, but other times, I find that they're not and that it doesn't add much to the story.

One of my first experiences with multiple POVs was the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. I struggled with some of the books after Eragon because it began to have chapters with changing points of view. While I understand the intention behind it and while I see how it added to that story, it was much harder for me to handle, at least as a child. I found it confusing and at the time unnecessary. I couldn't understand the need for multiple perspectives, and it broke up my reading experience. For some time after that, I stayed away from books with multiple POVs.

But in more recent years, I've come to see the value of books with multiple POVs. Sometimes, I love that a book has that, I don't generally find it as annoying anymore. It doesn't break up my reading as much. I've seen books do it very well, and it's made me more appreciative of it. But there are still times when I still see it not done well. There are still some books where I don't find it completely necessary.

Now I take things more on a book-by-book basis rather than overgeneralizing a type of book as a whole. I don't have anything against multiple POV books anymore. I don't decide to not pick up a book purely because there are multiple perspectives.

What's your take on books with multiple POVs? Are you someone like me, who has had her opinion change over the years?

Friction Fiction (#17): The Challenge of Reviewing Through a Feminist Lens

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

If you don't already know, I also blog on two other blogs. One of the them is Feminists Talk Books, where we review books through a feminist lens, exploring and analyzing books based on how representative and diverse it is. As we've begun to really settle into this blog, I've also begun to think about how I want to review the books that I do on this blog. This particular dilemma came to me when I was writing my review for Nil. In that review, I talked about how the author, Lynne Matson, did a great job with on-the-surface diversity, and then I also said that I wished for more--maybe some characters with disabilities or something. And it got me thinking about how I've been reviewing on this blog and how I want to analyze the books we review here.

At the very basic level, I'm always going to be talking about the female characters, regardless. That's how this blog came about after all. I know I'll always talk about female representation and how the females in a book are written as compared to the males. Along the same vein, I'll be talking about complex characters, gender roles and stereotypes, diverse representation (are females being treated as humans, or are they all roughly the same?), slut shaming, etc. At the very basic level, that's what we started this blog with, and I know it's what brings this blog together.

But as we've noted, feminism is about more than how the characters are written and how they may be treated differently because of their gender. It also includes us seeing more diversity of characters as a whole. We don't just want females to be treated as humans, we also want people of other marginalized groups to be treated as humans in the books we read. We want to see all types of people represented in books.

I will almost always comment on what a book does well in terms of diversity--mental illness, disabilities, race/ethnicity, LGBTQIA, experiences, etc. But at point do we ask for more? At what point do we say the book has done a great job? Is it bad to keep asking for more of a book/author, even if a book already does much better than most of what's out there? Is there a point at which a lot is too much?

This was my problem when reviewing Nil. There was already a lot of diversity and there was a good gender balance, with each character having equal treatment in that they're all real and human and have flaws. But I wanted more. Certainly, I don't think asking for the central characters to be more PoC rather than the PoC being secondary characters is too much too ask. But is it right for me to say that I was hoping for disabilities to be represented, even if it's just asthma? Should I be happy that the author tried to do something great in terms of diversity already? Because I don't hold all books to that same standard (expecting there to be some disabled characters), so is it fair for me to add that for that book/review?

And sometimes, I can't tell what's realistic. Is it realistic that most people in the midwest are white? Probably. Certainly there are non-white people living there, but can I fault a book that takes place there for lacking racial/ethnic diversity? My school has a great program for students with mental disabilities and learning disabilities, but I don't hang out with them. Should I ask for authors to represent such people more if they're not a huge part of everyone's lives? (Of course, if the character or someone close to the character is, I would hope it's well represented in the book.) Is it reasonable to ask for a little bit of everything or is that too overwhelming? How can we represent everything, as we can find in our actual lives, without overwhelming the books? I know disabled people, people with mental illnesses, people with anxiety, people of different/multiple races/ethnicities, LGBTQIA people, etc, but I find that often, when authors try to have all of these in a book, it becomes too much and perhaps even begins to cause other problems.

I don't want my reviews to be inconsistent, but I can't help but wonder if that's the only way to review books here. Each book should always be taken on a case-by-case basis, but again, I have the issue to not being sure what to do about a book such as Nil. There are books that certainly manage to address multiple areas that I like to look for, such as Lies We Tell Ourselves, but what about the rest?

It's these questions that have become challenges for me when I'm reviewing. I don't think there is one particular answer. I don't think there is a right way to do this. I hope that I've explained my dilemma/challenge well enough for you all to understand my conflicting thoughts.

This post is cross-posted from Feminists Talk Books. Check out the post there for some insightful comments/discussions as well.

Friction Fiction (#16): Being Realistic with ARCs

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

When I first started blogging, I had no idea what the heck an ARC was. I would see the word thrown around but didn't think too much of it. I enjoyed blogging about books that I was reading and enjoying, and I was just happy that blogging was helping me to get back into reading again. I became aware of books that I never would have heard of if I hadn't started blogging, and I fell into the blogosphere. I was loving it. I was still mostly reading books I could get from the library, though my TBR list kept growing. I was also blogging about TV shows, reviewing my favorite shows and their different episodes, movies, and music. Part of that was that when I first started, I wasn't reading as much as I am now, and because it was the summertime, I was watching much more television. But my blog has lost a lot of that diversity, the diversity that made me think that my blog stood out against other book blogs. The thing is, yes, I love books, and reading has always been a large part of my life, but other obsessions-TV shows, music, movies, etc-have also become big parts of my life. But I started to become solely book-based. Why? Part of it was that I was reading more, watching TV shows and movies less, but it was also because I began to want to make my splash in the book blogging community a bit bigger. 

While a part of it was just wanting to know that people were reading the reviews I had put so much work into, a part of it was also that I learned about ARCs. I was fascinated by ARCs. I think I actually began to look into what they were when I won a Goodreads giveaway for Emily Liebert's You Knew Me When. It was the first book I reviewed on my blog, and it was one of my first interactions with an author. I didn't realize it was an ARC until I received the book, read it, and then realized the book wasn't out yet. I then realized that I had an early copy, an advanced reader copy. Maybe that's how the spiral began. Slowly and then swiftly, I began to spiral into an ARC frenzy, just wanting to get ARCs without really thinking about them and the responsibility and meaning behind those books. Sure, I was reviewing the books, but sometimes, I was trying to get ARCs just for the sake of receiving them. Just to seem like I was something, anything, in the blogosphere. 

But as I began blogging more, I began to see the downside of ARCs. Suddenly, I was feeling overwhelmed. I wasn't reading all the ARCs I had requested and received. I was putting them aside, choosing to read books I was actually excited about. To some extent, I was still keeping up, but the eARCs were really growing. I began to see other bloggers talking about ARCs and about keeping a limit and about how they were both a good thing and a bad thing. A lot of other bloggers were feeling overwhelmed and were also getting ARC envy. I was beginning to too. But then, I also began to have some hiatuses. Partially because of school, partially because I was feeling overwhelmed and wasn't really loving working on my blog anymore. So I took a break. I took a step back. I breathed. I read what I wanted, at the pace that I wanted. I continued to keep blogging in the back of my mind, jotting down some notes after finishing a book so that I could try to throw together a review once I got back to blogging. 

I also cleaned my book shelf. I don't have a lot of shelf room. All of my books are stored on two and a half shelves in one of my closets, along with DVDs, CDs, and other miscellaneous items. I also read a lot of series, so it's hard to keep them together and have room for everything. I began to pull out some books that I own but haven't read. I realized this even more with my most recent hiatus and book shelf/closet clean. I bought those books wanting to read them. Why didn't I? Because I was getting caught up with reading ARCs. And I realized, yes, getting ARCs is still awesome. It does make me feel a little more important. But I also blog because I want to read awesome books. Sometimes I find them through the ARCs, but I first fell in love with the books that I bought and with the books I found at the library. I want to get better about reading the amazing books I have at home. Sure, I still sprinkle it in with ARCs here and there, and there are ARCs I really want to receive because I truly want to read the book and spread the word, but I don't approach ARCs the same way anymore.

I don't mind not receiving ARCs. Again, it's awesome to get them, but they're not my priority. I still get a bit envious, but then I remind myself of why I'm really doing this. I'm not in this for the free books. I'm in this for the great, amazing books that I can't wait to read and talk about. And thinking this way has freed me in my blogging in many ways. I feel less stressed about reading ARCs on time (the ones I do have still make me feel this way sometimes, but it depends on the book). I've been a really mood-y reader lately, so it's nice to know that I can pick up a book when I want to, not because I need to review it soon. I'm not feeling so overwhelmed anymore. I feel better about picking certain books to request because they're books I really do want to read. I'm trying to get back on track with the books I got via Netgalley. I'm trying to not have that ARC mentality. For the most part, I'm doing well with this, and I'm happier for it. 

One day, I think I'd like to start taking on more ARCs again, and I still can't wait for the day that I receive (an) unsolicited book(s)/ARC(s) (I did receive one from First Second, which is awesome, but I can't wait to get a novel). But I don't place value on my blog or the work I'm putting into my blog based on the number of ARCs I have. It's nice to have them. It's nice to talk to bloggers about books we've already read though it's not out yet. But I'm enjoying myself so much more this way. I've been getting used to blogging on three blogs, while also trying to get into Instagramming more. I've never been happier with my blog and my content, and I'm trying to re-diversify my blog again, including music, movies, and TV shows when I can. I'm being realistic with my blog(s), I'm being realistic with what I can do and what I have time for, and I'm being realistic with ARCs.

What's your take on requesting and/or receiving ARCs? How has your view on ARCs changed, if it has? 

Fiction Friction (#15): Coming Back From a Blogging Break/Hiatus

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

Well, this seems like a pretty relevant discussion post, doesn't it? A few of my blogging friends, as well as myself, are getting back into the swing of things. We were on unintentional hiatuses and blogging breaks. We were dealing with school and college applications and juggling everything else in life. Blogging has to take the back seat sometimes. But now, most of us are slowly coming back. We're aiming to come back stronger than ever, my self included. I may have overestimated and may overwhelm myself now that I'll be posting on three blogs and a YouTube channel, but I also know that I'll probably be putting YouTube on the back burner for now, using it more for mini-reviews and book hauls, and I know that I can cross post on Lit Up Review and will be stepping down from full time to contributor once the school year is over. I also know that dance is ramping up as competitions are coming up and rehearsals for everything are becoming more intense and longer in length. But nonetheless, I intend to keep it up. I'm excited to be back and excited for all that's new.

But it's also hard. So hard. It's hard to remind people that you're still here. Even though I've maintained my Twitter presence, it hasn't been at the same level. I haven't been talking to/keeping up with many of my blogging friends. I haven't been talking about books and blogging and reading so much as school and dance and life. And that's okay, but it makes it hard to get people to remember your tiny blog. It's hard to regain your audience, let alone start expanding it again. I think it's definitely easier for a larger blog than my own. I'm taking it one step at a time, but sometimes it makes me sad that I'm working harder than ever on my blog and on my posts but that because of timing, people aren't going to be seeing some of it. That's okay, but it's a tough feeling.

I guess what it comes down to when you're coming back is being patient and taking it slow. There's no rush to get back to the level you were at before. Maybe the blogging break even made you rethink how you run your blog. My long break/hiatus certainly has. I'm not posting nearly as much, but it makes me feel a bit better and under less self-made pressure.

But being on a break often also impacts your reading. I've been reading so much less (as is evident from my Goodreads), and it's taking me two, three, four times the time to read/finish a book. I've become even moodier with my reading over my hiatus. I went through a time where I only wanted to read contemporary. Now, I want some action and excitement that you don't usually find in a contemporary novel. I'd like to reread books, but I'm not that quick of a reader, and I could be using that time to read a new book that I could review. Perhaps that's part of the problem, but it's one that I need to compromise on.

The good news about taking a break is that if you've read, you have a bunch of books you can write about for your blog! I've written a few reviews already, and I have many more that I'm drafting up. Yeah, it's weird because some of these I read over the summer or in September/October, leaving me to forget all about the book. But being on break made me regain my love for blogging. It's not that I ever lost it, but it lost some of its initial sparkle, I guess. The one year anniversary of this blog (as in at this URL) passed in January, and I wanted to do something for it, but time didn't allow for it, and I knew many people wouldn't see it anyway. I'm okay with that. I'll celebrate my other blogiversary! Anyway, I'm more excited than ever to write reviews. Before my hiatus, I was honestly sort of dreading every time I went to write a review. I wanted to talk about books, but I felt confined. Nothing like having nowhere to share your thoughts (other than 140 characters on Twitter) to make you want to review the heck out of all the books you've read!

I think coming back is about taking it slow. It's about re-embracing your blog and the community. It's about reflecting on changes and getting used to new habits. It's about re-establishing yourself. It's about reconnecting. It's about sparking your passion again. It's about catching up (ahem, I need to update my archive and Goodreads reviews). It's about reading books you own but haven't read because you can't get ARCs from publishers when you're on a long break. It's about finding your vibe again. It's about jumping in and just saying hello! I'm back and better than ever!

So to all my friends on the same boat, welcome back! I/we have missed you! :)

Fiction Friction (#14): The Stigma Against Graphic Novels

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I don't know if you've noticed recently, either on my blog or on Twitter, but I've been starting to read graphic novels. When I was younger, I read some manga but rarely any graphic novels. But I went to a signing at Books of Wonder that Gene Luen Yang was at, and that's really what started my plunge into graphic novels. I read American Born Chinese*, and I decided to look into some of the other books First Second Books released. I requested This One Summer and Gene's newest book, The Shadow Hero (highly recommended). I started part of Boxers and Saints, which I had picked up at the signing. 

And I started to fall in love with the ease of reading graphic novels. They're quick and fun to read. I also started to form a really great relationship with the publicist at First Second books. Since then, I've also received review copies of other books I requested. I recently fell in love with the Zita and the Spacegirl series (highly recommended).

But I also started to notice something. I guess I always knew about or had an inkling of the knowledge that it was occurring. When I received the last book of the Zita series, I needed to read the first two books first, obviously. So I got them through my library's interloan system. When I went to pick up the books at the library, however, I got a lot of puzzled faces and weird looks. It's like people think that graphic novels are just for young kids. After all, for the most part, the reading level needed to be able to comprehend and enjoy a graphic novel isn't as great as for a regular novel. And there are pictures, like children's books. As I was picking one of the books up (they came at separate times), a friend of mine was with me, and condescendingly asked why the heck I was taking out the book. First of all, there's nothing wrong with enjoying a children's/picture book. I think there's a lot to learn from them, and most of them are actually very entertaining. It's the same with middle grade books. People look at you weirdly if you're obviously older than the age of most middle grade readers. I'm sure adult readers of YA get the same reaction towards them reading YA. 

There's just something about graphic novels that people just can't seem to accept (if you're a teen or older). First Second Books and their team have actually written a couple of similar posts, and I think it was Shannon Hale that recently tweeted about how great graphic novels are for readers at every level. There's a depth to graphic novels that most people can't see from the surface. I especially learned that when reading Zita and The Shadow Hero. Yeah, I enjoy them because they're quick and easy to read, but I also get something out of these books. The Shadow Hero impacted me in so many ways that I wasn't expecting, and Gene's other works do the same for me. As an Asian American, I can't tell you how grateful I am that Gene's work is out there and that I've been able to have the pleasure of reading them. 

People will look at you funny for reading books at any level other than the one you're supposed to fit in. But it's even greater for graphic novels because they're not quite any other type of genre; they fit in their own genre, yet they also work within other genres (if that makes any sense). I encourage all of you to try out a graphic novel sometime. It reads differently from a book for both obvious and obscure reasons. It reminds you of how well writing and images go together, as well as how many aspects of a story you can glean from a picture. I think that's partially why there are always aspects of a book adapted movie that you'll likely enjoy more than you did in the book. In fact, there are rare movies where I enjoyed the movie more than the book because the movie and images helped me to better understand the story. Images are important too. Just as important as words. I'm in no way dissing traditional novels or saying they are worse for their lack of images. There's just something about a well-done graphic novel that makes it so different from a novel--but not in a bad way.

I'm actually very glad that this year's Banned Books Week is celebrating graphic novels. Because there are readers of every age that enjoy graphic novels. There are so many people that read graphic novels that wouldn't be reading anything otherwise. So why is there such a stigma against older people (as in not children) reading these books? They're so valuable to the literary world, yet non-children are almost shamed, humiliated, and/or made fun of for reading graphic novels. We need to change this, whether we read graphic novels ourselves or not. Because nobody should feel bad about reading what they enjoy. No one.

*All links from book titles in this post link to my review of the book(s).

Fiction Friction (#13): What I Think It Means to Be a Fan

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

Many different recent occurrences led to this discussion post idea, but I think it's an interesting topic to address. What does it mean to be a fan of something?

For me, being a fan means that you enjoy whatever you're a fan of. It doesn't matter how long you've loved it/enjoyed it. It doesn't matter how much later in life you discovered it. It doesn't matter how dedicated you are to it/to the fandom. If you enjoy it, you're a fan. If you like to talk to others about it, you're a fan.

But some people have this idea of what it means to be a "true fan." Again, I think being a "true fan" means that you enjoy/like whatever it is. If you love Harry Potter, you're a Harry Potter fan/Potterhead. You don't have to have read Harry Potter when you were a child. You don't have to have read all the books or watched all the movies. Yes, there's a difference between being a fan of the books and being a fan of the movies, but the thing is, either way, I'll consider you a Harry Potter fan. I guess you could say there are levels of fandom, but ehh. In general, you're a fan. In the specific case of Harry Potter, I do believe the one distinction is the "Harry Potter Generation." I know this will probably cause some arguments, but that's what discussions are for, right? I consider myself a part of the Harry Potter Generation. I grew up around Harry Potter, at the time when Harry Potter was still being released. Some people don't consider people my age to be part of the generation because we were still really young when the first book came out or because we weren't the same age as Harry when the story began. But I think the Harry Potter Generation spans all the people that were young and grew up with Harry Potter. Whether you were twenty or two when the first book came out, I think you could be a part of the Generation. If you became a Potterhead while the books were still being released, I think you're part of the Generation. And this name doesn't mean that we're better fans than kids that are discovering and loving Harry Potter now. They're fans and Potterheads just as much as we are. But they, in my mind, aren't part of the Harry Potter Generation. 

So basically, I think there can be levels of being a fan, but being a "true fan" doesn't have to mean you started loving whatever it was when it first began. I consider myself a fan of Divergent now. Am I a true fan? Sure. Have I been a fan since the beginning? Not at all. But don't you dare tell me that I'm not a "real fan." I liked the book and the movie. I like to talk about it. Doesn't that make me a fan, just like you?

There's also the issue of how big a fan you are. Are you a better fan if you know every episode plot and title of a show? Are you a better fan if you follow a band's every movement and news on Twitter? Perhaps. But that doesn't make you better than any other fan. It doesn't mean you can accuse someone of not being a big enough fan. Some of us are a fan of so many things we can't do it all. Some of us just aren't able to remember every episode plot and title. Some of us aren't able to remember all the smallest of details in our favorite books. If you aren't one of these people, sure, maybe you are a bigger fan but maybe not. There are other factors to think about, not just how many fandom facts you know.

At the end of the day, isn't what's most important the fact that we can all come together and just love whatever it is we're a fan of?

What do you think makes someone a fan of something? Are some fans better than others?

Fiction Friction (#12): When Bands/Groups Break Up (aka When Fans Cry Forever...and Ever)

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

The title says it all, really. We all know good things must eventually come to an end. There's always some band/group that's going on a break or just breaking up for good. And if you're a fan of that band/group, it just breaks your heart, doesn't it?

Because unlike a TV show ending or a book series ending, there's usually no clear sign of the end. Bands and groups can continue to release music even if there aren't as many fans or listeners anymore (unlike TV shows that are largely based on the number of viewers). You don't know how many albums will be released before they break up, unlike with most books where there are a set number of books that will be released in a series. 

Sometimes there are little signs and hints, but sometimes there aren't. I have two different examples:

1) The Civil Wars

The duo, Joy and John Paul, seemed to be on the way to stardom. They rose to fame recently, and I fell in love with their music after listening to one or two of their songs. Their lyrics are so meaningful, and I just love the sound of their music. Their talent just blows me away, and I love how raw and real their live performances are. You could see the chemistry between them (to the point where some people thought they were dating or married). And then, all of a sudden, they announced that they weren't finishing their tour because they couldn't tour together anymore due to "unreconcilable (irreconcilable?) differences." And fans were shocked, or at least I was. It seemed like it was out of nowhere. And it definitely broke my heart because they could have gone so far together and because this happened before their second, and I suppose final, album was released. TEARS.

2) The Wanted

For fans that watched The Wanted Life, it seemed as if a rift was starting to form in the band. But everyone, including the band members themselves, credited it to the fact that it was all because of the editing of the reality TV show. I mean, come on, we all know how unrealistic reality TV generally is. Besides, they still seemed to be great together when on Twitter, in their videos, etc. Yes, they're just on a break to focus on their own lives, which makes sense. Yet fans fear that the end may be near for the band despite this just being a hiatus. I'm a relatively new fan, and I wish I had been a better fan or had tried to get into the Fanmily more. I'll be really sad if they officially break up, and I really hope it won't happen because they're an amazing band that is even more amazing to their fans. 

But once in a while, bands/groups on hiatus come back and the whole fanbase cheers. My #1 example? The Hush Sound, one of my favorite bands. After a few years on hiatus to work on their individual projects, the band finally came back together, released a few new songs, and they're releasing a new album sometime this year, I believe. You don't know how happy I was because I fell in love with them after their hiatus began. So I rejoiced. Hiatuses don't mean the end of a band/group, and that really assures me and makes me feel better.

So what do I do when one of my favorite bands/groups, or even a group I listen to sometimes, breaks up or goes on hiatus? I make sure I follow their social media so I can get the first bit of information about them potentially getting back together (mostly in hiatus situations). I follow their individual accounts if it's available because many of them continue on with a solo career. I continue to listen to old songs/albums. I feel sad from time to time. I talk to other fans. And I try to find other groups/bands that I can fangirl about next.

Have any of your favorite bands/groups broken up or gone on hiatus? What's the best way to deal with THE FEELS?

Fiction Friction (#11): Reader vs. Author Interpretations

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I was thinking about this idea after my whole class share for my English Scholars Program class. It was really interesting to see how my classmates interpreted the song that I shared (which is actually 100 Colors; it'll be shared during the "Inspired: A Summer of Songs" event this summer). So it got me thinking about how an author's interpretation/view of their work compares to how others/readers view their work.

One example I need to use is Harry Potter and the recent Hermione/Ron thing that J.K. Rowling spoke about. I'm not focusing on what she actually said but rather on the discussions that stemmed from it. The thing is, as an author, J.K. Rowling can choose to interpret events and relationships as she wishes. Just because she thinks certain things about her characters and their unwritten future doesn't mean that you have to agree. Once writing is out to the public, the public can decide how they interpret the work.

In a similar vein, sometimes, an author believes that they are giving a certain message in their book/poem/etc, but then, some readers either won't ever see that message or they might even get an opposite message. It's always hard to gauge this, especially when dealing with a tough or touchy subject such as suicide, rape, etc.

But there are also aspects such as symbolism that can differ. In my song, 100 Colors, I wrote many of the lines because they just popped into my head that way. My classmates started to talk about what the colors represent and how the verses relate to the feeling they get from that. But it was interesting to me because they looked at it in such a deeper light than I had ever thought of the words. My line, "there are a hundred colors/bleeding through my fingertips" was just something that popped into my head. I honestly don't even know where that came from. It just sounded nice, and it fit the idea of art/photography in Solving for Ex, which the latter parts of the song were inspired by. It made me think about how authors may not always have the intent that readers interpret. I didn't write "colors" to symbolize emotions and the complexity of emotions. I wrote it because it came into my head, it fit, and it sounded right. But does that mean that the readers are wrong? Not necessarily. I believe that one of the powerful things about reading and writing is that different people interpret works in different ways. It's really interesting to see other peoples' perspective on the same piece of writing. It's the reason why, for every book with a 5 star review, there's a 1 star review. 

Do you think readers have the right to interpret writing as they wish? Is there a right or wrong interpretation (or does it depend)? What are your thoughts on interpretations? Do you sometimes think that you put more meaning into something than the author might have meant/intended?

Fiction Friction (#10): On Gaining a Larger Audience (Blogging)

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I mentioned something along the lines of "how do I get more readers to look at my blog?" the other day on Twitter, and I started talking to Natalie @ Novel Reads about this dilemma. 

I know that I'm still a fairly new-ish blogger, and with my URL move and all, it's even more confusing for some people. But I do think I've been trying a lot harder, both for myself and for my audience. I know I don't have to post every day, and the main reason that's been able to happen is that I had a bunch of old reviews that I wanted to circulate out after my URL switch. I try to have original content and make my reviews interesting or insightful to read. I try to sort of promote my blog via Twitter. 

I mean, yes, I still blog for myself. I don't necessarily think about my stats and my page views or anything like that, but as much as many of us hate to admit it, it is important sometimes. Plus, I like knowing that people do read what I put out there. I want to blog because I want to talk about books and TV shows and music and movies. That's part of the reason why I LOVE comments. I want to talk to you guys! (And extra shout out to Cait @ Notebook Sisters for constantly commenting on my posts.)

So what I want to know is, how do you think is the best way to increase readership and reach a larger audience? Is there any way other than time and chance/luck? What makes you follow or read a blog's content? And just for me to know, why do you/do you not come back to Fly to Fiction and read my posts/reviews?

Fiction Friction (#9): Reading Books Outside Your Comfort Zone

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

I've run into this...scenario recently. I'll get a book or pick up a book that sounds interesting but isn't something I normally read, whether because of the cover, topic, genre, or whatever. But I've been finding more and more often that these are the books I'm really enjoying. So I've been rethinking what my "comfort zone" is and what I usually like reading.

I usually don't like any of those cheesy, YA contemporary romance covers, and I tend to stay away from such titles. It's one of the reasons why I still haven't read Anna and the French Kiss. But I loved Open Road Summer, I love Sarah Dessen's books, etc. So are these books really outside my comfort zone? Maybe they were or maybe I was a bit embarrassed to be caught reading such books. I realized that perhaps it was less my comfort zone and more of what I thought I liked reading. I've always known that I liked contemporary, but I didn't think I liked YA contemporary romance more than I love fantasy or historical fiction. And now, I realize that by stepping out of what I usually read, I really enjoy YA contemporary of all kinds.

Another example is when I received an ARC of You Knew Me When by Emily Liebert. It's adult chick lit (or it could be). The premise drew me in, but I wasn't sure I'd really enjoy. I ended up LOVING the book. I never would have read it if I saw it in a store, but by stepping out of what I'm used to reading, I discovered another book that I loved.

I think it's really interesting to think about all the books I never knew about before blogging because I wasn't brave or willing enough to try something new. Now, I'm generally not into the paranormal genre, but I'll still try some books out because I may find another awesome book or series. I wasn't huge on dystopian until very recently (and I'm still a little wary at times). But I try to read books for their content and premise rather than their genre now, and I think it's made a huge difference. There are fantasy books I don't like, not necessarily because they're fantasy books. In the same way, there certainly are contemporary/realistic fiction novels that I don't like, but now I think it's less about the genre and more about the book.

Do you have a favorite genre? How do you determine whether or not you read a book? Have you had a similar experience as me? What's one book that surprised you (as in you liked it more than you thought you would)?

Fiction Friction (#8): Commenting/Commenting Back

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

Comments. We all like receiving them, I think. We like to know that people are actually taking the time to read what we write. As bloggers and book lovers, we want to be able to discuss our thoughts on books, and we like talking to other book lovers as well. I hope I'm not too far off in assuming that that's true for most of us.

But commenting and commenting back can be really time consuming. I always try to comment back, and I think that for the most part, I've been doing pretty well on that point. But I don't comment often on other peoples' blogs/posts.

A few months ago, I decided that I was going to commit to commenting on blogs more often and more frequently. One problem I encountered, however, was that most posts were reviews. While I love reading reviews, I generally only like to read them after I've read the book. Most of the books bloggers are reviewing are ones that I desperately want to read but haven't been able to yet. So I don't like reading those reviews unless I'm really curious about the book or just really want, on a whim, to read the review. When I do read or skim through reviews, I try to leave at least a short comment, but as I've been finding it harder and harder to write posts for my own blog while keeping up with everything else, I've fallen wayyy behind on commenting.

Which brings me to my discussion question: Do you comment on reviews? Do you try to comment back? How often do you comment on blogs (I know at least one or two people that almost consistently comment on here, and it makes me really happy)? How much time do you take to comment on posts? Do you have a way to push yourself to comment once in a while?

Fiction Friction (#7): Historical Fiction

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

Today's discussion is inspired by a conversation I had on Twitter with Jessica @ Just Another Teen Reading (if I remember correctly) about historical fiction a while back, the possible stigma against the genre, and the difference that seems to exist between YA historical fiction and MG historical fiction.

I love historical fiction. I don't read many historical fiction novels for various reasons, but it remains, to this day, one of my favorite genres. I would venture to say that my love stemmed from one book in particular, as well as being in 4th grade. The book that I would credit to my intense love for historical fiction is Midnight Rider. It's a MG book, and I haven't read it in forever, but it still fondly remains in my memory as being the reason I love history and historical fiction so much. That book, as well as the social studies curriculum in 4th grade, sparked my interest and love for history, particularly the American Revolution. To this day, it remains one of my favorite units in history. Since then, my love has only grown.

But I know that many people aren't fans of historical fiction/history. That's fine. I'm okay with that. I don't like certain genres too. Some people just can't get into historical fiction novels. But I think there's also starting to become some trends in YA fiction, starting with the fact that there aren't many historical fiction books, at least compared to other genres. And the historical fiction novels that are published, tend to cover roughly the same time periods in history. In YA fiction, it's the World Wars, the Civil War, historical England and Europe (Regency England and the French Revolution, for example), etc. In MG fiction there's more of the American Revolution, the Civil War, etc. Some of this I can understand. The American Revolution is easier to explain and set up to a young reader than World War I or World War II is. But then, what about in YA? I'd love to read books about the American Revolution. Sure, I love books covering the Civil War or the World Wars or anything similar, but what about the time periods that aren't covered as much.

Even the American Revolution is not enough. What about the other wars? The French and Indian War? The Cultural Revolution? The Vietnam War? The Rape of Nanking? What about other countries? What about books about historical China or Japan or Egypt (not mythology) or Turkey or South Africa or Australia? Where's the diversity in YA historical fiction? What about looking at the events we don't talk about as much? Those are important too. Those are interesting too. So why isn't there more diversity in historical fiction?

Do publishers think there isn't interest for it? Even starting off small such as publishing more books about other wars and time periods would be something. Is it because authors aren't writing about other time periods and other countries? Why is that? Learning history in the US may be Euro-centric, but the world isn't just filled with Europeans and Americans and Canadians. There are other people, other cultures, other conflicts, other historical events to explore.

If I could, I'd write a historical fiction novel set during the American Revolution. I'd write a historical fiction novel set in Brazil or the Philippines or Portugal or Belgium or Turkey or South Africa. I might not be able to write those stories well, but I think someone should. I would try, and I want others to try too. I want publishers to take a leap of faith. I want authors to take a leap of faith if it interests them. I want to see diversity not only in YA fiction in general but also YA historical fiction.

Do you read historical fiction? Do you like it? What do you think about diversity in the genre? Why do you think there's such a lack of diversity?

Fiction Friction (#6): Reading Reviews

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

As much as I love blogging and reviewing and sharing my opinions on books I've been reading, I wonder how many people actually read my reviews. Why do I ask this? Well, the thing is, I usually don't read many reviews. Sometimes I'll look at ratings or skim through a review, but for the most part, I don't read them. I can't read reviews of books I haven't read yet. I love reading through ones on Goodreads as soon as I'm done but not before. I'll usually read reviews of books that I loved to see what some of the criticisms were. Sometimes I'll read a review of a book I'm really looking forward to if the review is written by a blogger I like.

But even on the occasion that I do read a review, usually on Goodreads because I read books long after they've been published (in general), I don't comment on the post. Once in a while, if it's a book I really loved or hated or really had something to add, I'll comment. But generally, I don't. Sometimes it's because I have nothing substantial to add. Sometimes it's just because I'm not in the mood to. 

And that's why I've been trying to work on the discussion posts I have on here more than the reviews. I know I'd much rather comment on a discussion post of something I haven't seen discussed yet (or even something that has). I feel I have more to contribute to discussions than the reviews that I do manage to read.

So my question is: do you read reviews often? When do you read reviews? Do you have criteria? Do you prefer more reviews or more discussion posts? Should I try to comment more on reviews that I do read, as limited a number as it may be?

Fiction Friction (#5): On Jealousy

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

In part inspired by Nova @ Out of Time's post on jealousy, in part inspired by my personal experience lately, today's post is about jealousy. Not just book jealousy but all different kinds of jealousy.

First, I'll start off with book jealousy. I'll bet that most of us book bloggers have at least been jealous of other book bloggers once. Maybe they got an ARC that you were dying to get, maybe they have an awesome blog you just can't live up to (in your opinion), maybe you're jealous of the amount of followers they have or the number of contacts they have. The list could go on.

I'm a victim of book blogger jealousy too! But recently, I've learned to keep it more at bay. Sure, there are books I really want to get, but the thing is, I know that there would only be a few that I could reasonably get to. Adding more books would just make me even more stressed out. I have enough going on in my life outside of blogging. And I can always borrow or buy the book later on, right? But again, I still get jealous sometimes. It's hard not to! I just try to look at the practical side of it too.

Other things I'm jealous of in terms of blogging are a little harder to deal with and see practically, but I constantly remind myself that I'm doing this for ME. I'm doing this so that I can read more and so I can learn more about awesome books, the authors that write them, and the publishers and publishing companies that publish them. I remember that I'm still fairly new to blogging and that who cares if there are newer bloggers that have been more successful than I've been. I have too many other things on my plate. Again, it's still hard, but sometimes, you just have to remind yourself why you're doing this.

It gets a little harder when you're jealous of friends, particularly those you see offline. When they're friends you've made on the internet, you can remind yourself that they have grown up in and live in a different environment and with different backgrounds and all of that. Plus, it's not like you HAVE to see them or talk to them or anything like that if it's overwhelming you, you know?

I've always been someone that could potentially be really jealous of people, particularly my friends and those close to me. Part of it stems from old wounds and insecurities, making me feel incompetent. I don't want to single out anyone that I know, nor do I want to seem conceited or self-centered, but. Okay, so you probably know that I dance. I've danced since I was young (from before the age of 5). Again, not to brag, but I became one of the better dancers at my current dance school (which I've been going to since I was 5 or 6). I was one of the better dancers in my age group, but even some of the older dancers complimented me, whether truthfully or to be kind I don't know. But a few years ago, some new dancers started dancing at my dance school and some of the other girls started to become really good too. For many of them, it's because they go to Catholic schools that have special dance programs, meaning they dance more than I do. Another part of it is that they were taking classes in multiple dance disciplines. I was only taking ballet (and pointe) up until 2 years ago, when I started taking modern. Now, I've never really meant for dance to become my profession because I know how unrealistic it is, but it was so nice to feel that, just for once, people were looking up to me. It felt amazing. But now? Now, I often feel forgotten about when those other girls are there. I know I probably don't have the right to complain because there are still so many other dancers that will probably never get the praise I once got, sadly, but it hurts a bit to feel this way. Yeah, part of it is that I'm much more introverted than those girls and that I tend to keep to myself, but it still makes me feel jealous. Because I've been where they are. Because I remember how awesome it felt. And sometimes, I'll feel that again, but sometimes, I feel like it's just unfair. But most of it comes down to jealousy.

And I know it's not fair for me to feel this way because those girls deserve it. They deserve all that praise. They truly are better dancers, at least technically. They dance far more than I do. They're my friends, and I should be happy for them. But I'm also jealous.

So how do I deal? I remind myself that they may be great in some aspects but that there are aspects of dance that I excel at too, even if it's not considered as important. Because it's important to me. But also, I dance because I love it, not to show that I'm better than other people. Dance means so much to me, and I won't let anything get in the way of that. Yeah, I still feel badly sometimes, but other times, I remember how the little girls still look up to me, whether I'm the best or not. I remember that in the long run, dance isn't something I plan to pursue professionally (though I'd love to). I remember that it's not just about being the best. It doesn't matter if they're younger than me but are better than me. I can't control the situation I grew up in, which is very different from the one they grew up in (which had different views, parenting styles, values, etc). Besides, what matters is that I've personally improved and that I continue to strive to improve. It doesn't how good you are if you never get better. You may still be better than me, but I think that working hard and improving is much better than staying at the same level.

In the end, how you deal with jealousy is really up to you and the way you think. Does it ever completely go away? I don't think so. There's always going to be someone that has it better than you, but remember that you're your own person and that your experiences are different from the experiences of others. I don't think it's bad to feel jealous so long as it doesn't get in your way. It's hard to deal with when jealousy leads you to feel incompetent, but if you can change your way of thinking, it'll help.

What kind of jealousy have you experienced? How do you deal with jealousy?

Friction Fiction (#4): Hogwarts Houses vs. Divergent Factions

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

Having recently watched the Divergent movie and having read an article on Hypable that stated that "Like at Hogwarts, teenagers in Divergent are asked to suppress their originality and conform to a specific set of ideals," I knew I wanted to write this discussion post. Why? Because I refuse to agree with that statement and for particular reasons.

I must start off by saying that at the time that I'm writing this post (3/22), I have not yet read all of Divergent. I'm basing most of my points off of the movie, and I can only hope that they are accurate with what's in the books. If they're not, please let me know and then decide on your own thoughts based on the books. 

I firmly believe that though they are similar in idea, they are very different in execution and are fundamentally different. They are similar in that they group people based on personality, but that's close to where the similarities stop, in my opinion.

In Divergent, yes, people are ultimately allowed to choose their factions. But once they decide, they're stuck there. They have to learn to conform to their factions' way of life, attitude, personality, etc. They learn that it's "faction over blood." The statement the author of the Hypable article made isn't that far from the truth for factions. People are limited and are forced to become one and the same. They're told how to dress, how to act, and they're even told that aren't even allowed to see their family (except on family visitation day, if I remember correctly from what I read in the book). In Divergent, they are very much expected to conform to the ideals and expectations of their faction. They are told that being Divergent is a bad thing and that human nature is their enemy.

But I believe that Hogwarts Houses are different. Yes, they are similarly based on personality, but the Sorting Hat sort of makes the choice for you. It knows who you are, deep down inside, even if you don't know yourself. You don't have to know who you are yet. Otherwise, would Neville have been put into Gryffindor? I highly doubt he'd ever consider himself brave. Yes, there is some room for choice if you're a hat stall and are like Harry. Even in this idea, I think the two are fundamentally different. At Hogwarts, you're sorted into the House that the Sorting Hat knows is right for you, regardless of what you think. In Divergent, you're given the liberty to make your own choice. I think factions are less about your personality and more about who you think you are, who you want to be, and what you value most. Tris chooses Dauntless because she values their bravery. She wants to be like them. She isn't necessarily like them yet (depending on your definition of bravery). I don't doubt that the Sorting Hat would put her in Gryffindor anyway, but I think there's a specific distinction between the two in that sense.

But the thing about Houses is that it doesn't confine you to one set of ideals and personalities. You can still be yourself. You're just put with people that also have the same biggest personality trait. Hat stalls and even non-hat stalls show that you can be a little bit of everything. Luna, for example, is in Ravenclaw, largely, I'd say, because of her creative spirit. But isn't Luna also brave? Yes. I think so (for various reasons). Houses give you a place to feel at home where you're surrounded by people that are similar to you but not the same. You can be friends with people from other Houses because you recognize that their strongest quality has its flaws and strengths but that you might have some of that within yourself as well. The Golden Trio, Ginny, and Neville are all friends with Luna. She is not from their House. Yes, they tend to stick with people in their Houses, but they're not limited to those Houses.

Houses allow people to be a mix of everything without condemning them if they are. They even acknowledge the fact that people may have various very strong personality traits. Harry and Hermione are examples of this.

Yes, there may be some sense of the pressure of conformity in Hogwarts, and I will not deny that, but it isn't comparable with that of the factions. Besides, you certainly won't be kicked out of your Hogwarts House, as far as I can tell. Do both factions and Houses cause some kind of conformity? Yes. But Hogwarts Houses do not necessarily tell you who to be, especially at the moment (ahem Neville). Hogwarts Houses do not tell you that you can only be one thing/have one personality trait and nothing else. Houses are much more flexible and fluid, and they don't condemn people that have a mix of personality traits. And no, I'm not just saying this because I obviously love Harry Potter. I believe that factions and Houses are similar in idea but very different in execution.

What do you think? Am I completely wrong? Or do you agree with me?

Fiction Friction (#3): Book Boyfriends

These posts are meant to bring about some conversation, discussion, and perhaps even a debate. These discussion posts can occur at varying days of the week, mostly depending upon what's scheduled on the blog and what I feel like discussing.

If you know anything about me or if you talk to me on Twitter often, chances are, you'll know that I don't really participate in the whole book boyfriend thing. Why? I just don't see the appeal of it. Of course there are boys in books that I love to pieces. But I don't really do the whole book boyfriend thing.

But I get why others do. It's fun, and it's kinda cool. I may not understand it, per say, but I can see the appeal of doing it. I'll admit: the only time I was actually going to break from my no book boyfriends rule was for Matt Finch in Open Road Summer. I just...I had to ask. Unfortunately, he's already been taken (I mean, DUH). Why did I want to break my rule? I just REALLY loved Matt. Maybe people who regularly do the whole book boyfriend thing feel that way with their book boyfriends. Who knows?

Besides not seeing the appeal of book boyfriends, I also find that term or the concept to be a little strange. Firstly, are there book girlfriends? I don't know of many male and/or gay bloggers, but that'd be interesting to explore. Should we assume that all girls a) like boys and b) care about having a boyfriend (and no, I'm saying that wanting book boyfriends=wanting a boyfriend in real life)? Plus, I feel like, many times, it's as if people are trying to "claim" these book boys. Yes, the author has put their work out there, but to have this almost territorial claim over characters and boys is just strange. I wonder if people would view the term differently if book girlfriends were more common. Would we criticize that? I don't know.

EDIT: Thanks to Nova's comment, I wanted to clarify something. Basically, I'd love to have the chance to officially call a book character my book boyfriend, officially. But I think that once a book is out for people to read, the character becomes what the reader makes of him/her. People might love characters for different reasons. We shouldn't need someone to officially tell us that we can love/swoon over a bookish guy. We can just, you know, do it. We can love a character, and nobody can (or should be able to) tell us what we can do or think or say. If you like the idea of claiming book boyfriends, by all means, continue. I won't judge you, nor will I get in your way. I just won't partake in it officially. Feel free to talk about the characters, but you don't own the character any more than the rest of us.

So let me ask: Do you have any book boyfriends? Do you do the whole book boyfriend thing? Why/why not? Do you enjoy talking about them? (I understand wanting to talk about book boys but.)