A Beautiful, Sad Story About Friendship, Hope, and Miscommunication | Tour: Review: The Apple Tart of Hope by Sarah Moore Fitzgerald (ARC)

The Apple Tart of Hope by Sarah Moore Fitzgerald
Publisher: Holiday House
Release Date: April 1st, 2016

Fourteen-year-old Oscar Dunleavy is missing, presumed dead. His bike was found at sea, out past the end of the pier, and everyone in town seems to have accepted this as a teenage tragedy. But Oscar's best friend Meg knows he isn't dead. Oscar is an optimistic and kind boy who bakes the world's best apple tarts; he would never kill himself, and Meg is going to prove it.

Through interwoven narratives, the reader learns what really happened to Oscar. His sweet life had turned sour after Meg's family moved away. Though Meg didn't know it, Oscar had a manipulative bully plaguing him with toxic humiliation. Meg must confront the painful truth of Oscar's past six months—and the possibility that he might really be gone. Surrounded by grief and confusion, she starts to put the pieces back together.

With a poignant ending and memorable characters, this story of love and friendship reminds us to keep hope in our hearts.

"It's really a beautiful and sad story about friendship and miscommunication and appreciation and hope. "

"Obviously it makes sense for the story to be centered around Oscar, but it felt like all the other characters were fairly one dimensional."

Disclaimer: I received an ARC as a part of the blog tour celebrating the US release of this book. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this. 

Before I begin, I wanna say Happy Book Birthday to Sarah Moore Fitzgerald! Today is The Apple Tart of Hope's US release day! *celebrates*

I went into this book without any idea of what to expect and was pleasantly surprised. The Apple Tart of Hope seems to straddle the line between middle grade and young adult a bit, and it is a nice short book with a gorgeous cover.

Anyhow, I thought the two characters, Oscar and Meg, were interesting. I can't say I remember exactly how I thought and/or thought when I was fourteen, but this book is definitely on the lower end of young adult and reads as such. We learn a surprising amount about Oscar even despite his disappearance/death, and in fact, we learn much more about Oscar than about Meg. I love how fleshed out Oscar was as a character. He's quirky and awkward but endearing, and everything that happens to him is terrible. I think we're able to get a good sense of what kind of person he's like, but I didn't feel the same way about Meg. Her story was told through his and the focus was still on Oscar. She lacked the same depth and characterization that Oscar had. We barely got a sense of who she is and about what it was like for her to move to New Zealand once she was there. I can understand the purpose behind setting up her story that way, but it always felt like we were seeing Meg at a glance. It felt like this with the other characters too. Obviously it makes sense for the story to be centered around Oscar, but it felt like all the other characters were fairly one dimensional. 

The story itself read, as I mentioned, very much like a MG/YA crossover, but not in a bad way. I love how it works for a slightly younger audience but without skimping on the complexity. The book deals with mental illness and bullying, as well as how death impacts people, and I think it does a good job of exploring these but at a level where those in the crossover section wouldn't find it too much. There's this great balance that's struck, which I really appreciated. The plot pans out slowly, but I think the pace works, if a bit too slow for me at times. It's really a beautiful and sad story about friendship and miscommunication and appreciation and hope. It's heartbreaking to see what Paloma does, and it's hard to imagine someone being that cruel, but I know that kind of treatment is also a reality for many people. Seeing the events unfold tore at my heart, especially seeing how so much of what happened hinged on a bit (or rather, a huge) miscommunication. I don't think the end was too difficult to guess, but seeing how things got to that point was what was most important, at least to me.

I think the book is perfect for anyone looking for a crossover genre or looking for a "lighter" book dealing with tough issues. The book isn't perfect, but it's a nice short book that does offer something a little different. If you're looking for something quick to read, The Apple Tart of Hope would be a good book to sit down with for a few hours and finish.

The Apple Tart of Hope: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Sarah Moore Fitzgerald: Twitter | Lit Agency Page

A Wonderful Intersectional Feminist Read | Review: The Forbidden Orchid by Sharon Biggs Waller (ARC)

The Forbidden Orchid by Sharon Biggs Waller
Publisher: Viking
Release Date: March 8th, 2016

Staid, responsible Elodie Buchanan is the eldest of ten sisters living in a small English market town in 1861. The girls' father is a plant hunter, usually off adventuring through the jungles of China.

Then disaster strikes: Mr. Buchanan fails to collect an extremely rare and valuable orchid, meaning that he will be thrown into debtors' prison and the girls will be sent to the orphanage or the poorhouse. Elodie's father has one last chance to return to China, find the orchid, and save the family—and this time, thanks to an unforeseen twist of fate, Elodie is going with him. Elodie has never before left her village, but what starts as fear turns to wonder as she adapts to seafaring life aboard the tea clipper The Osprey, and later to the new sights, dangers, and romance of China.

But even if she can find the orchid, how can she find herself now that staid, responsible Elodie has seen how much the world has to offer?

Disclaimer: I received an eARC from the publisher. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this except that I knew it was going to be an amazing feminist-y read. Ever since I read Waller's last book, A Mad, Wicked Folly, I wanted to read more of her works. I felt even more excited about this book after my video chat with her and Sofia. And when I saw that this was going to be set in China, I knew I had to read it.

I'm not even sure where to begin this review. Just like A Mad, Wicked Folly, the book followed a determined young woman--Elodie--through her life in England, where she feels underestimated and trapped. I loved seeing her transformation throughout the book as she leaves her sheltered home and takes matters into her own hands. If anything, I loved her even more than Vicky because I agreed with her actions more and it was easier to feel sympathetic to her/her situation. That being said, I didn't find the other characters as compelling. I thought the characters represented various walks of life and points of view which I really appreciated and loved. I loved Ching Lan's storyline, and it was interesting to see it from Elodie's point of view and from that time in history. At first I didn't really like Ching Lan but more because we were viewing her from Elodie's perspective, but as we learned more about her, her situation really struck me and very strongly shows cultural differences and how they impact our lives. And though I loved Alex, I don't know how I feel about his relationship with Elodie. It was pretty obvious and predictable and just didn't feel very authentic to me. I do think their relationship changed over time, and it became less of a thing, but it sat weirdly with me for a while.

I thought the parent-daughter relationships and sibling relationships were particularly interesting here, as well as the idea of a chosen family. I found these to be much more compelling, particularly showing Elodie's growth. She cares so much about her family and that never goes away, but she also learns that sometime we need to be selfish and put ourselves before our family members. She learns to be her own person outside of her family, but it's clear she doesn't care about her family any less because of it. The feminist message in this book is just fabulously done, and I think it was much clearer (and perhaps more explicitly stated) than in A Mad, Wicked Folly, but I just loved how this dealt with how culture plays such a big part in feminism and about intersectionality (and seeing supportive males).

I also really appreciated the two settings, England and China. Even though I'm Chinese (and Taiwanese), I've never visited the country, yet Waller perfectly captures the atmosphere of Chinese neighborhoods (but without the same Western lens we experience it here) and really captures the culture. I could picture all of the locations. It was just beautifully crafted.

However, I did have some qualms about the book. As I mentioned briefly earlier, I didn't really feel as connected to these characters. Though their stories were compelling, I wasn't pulled into them. In addition, there was a lot more build up before the actual trip to China than I was expecting. I suppose that it's necessary as it builds the backdrop for the second part of the book, but it really dragged for me. And even once we arrived in China, I didn't feel as though the pace picked up. Normally I'm okay with a character-driven, not high paced book, but without feeling the same pull to the characters, it made it a bit of an effort to keep reading the book. I know some people DNF'd the book, and I could understand why, but I'm glad I stuck with it until the end.

Overall, I enjoyed the book and thought the messages were much more developed than the author's previous novel, despite a more dragging plot. The setting was done very well and really captured the culture and atmosphere.

The Forbidden Orchid: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Sharon Biggs Waller: Website | Pinterest | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter

A Beautiful Story About Friendship and "The Future" | Review: Just Visiting by Dahlia Adler (ARC)

Just Visiting by Dahlia Adler
Publisher: Spencer Hill Contemporary
Release Date: November 17th, 2015

Reagan Forrester wants out—out of her trailer park, out of reach of her freeloading mother, and out of the shadow of the relationship that made her the pariah of Charytan, Kansas.

Victoria Reyes wants in—in to a fashion design program, in to the arms of a cute guy who doesn't go to Charytan High, and in to a city where she won't stand out for being Mexican.

One thing the polar-opposite best friends do agree on is that wherever they go, they’re staying together. But when they set off on a series of college visits at the start of their senior year, they quickly see that the future doesn’t look quite like they expected. After two years of near-solitude following the betrayal of the ex-boyfriend who broke her heart, Reagan falls hard and fast for a Battlestar Galactica-loving, brilliant smile-sporting pre-med prospective... only to learn she's set herself up for heartbreak all over again. Meanwhile, Victoria runs full-speed toward all the things she thinks she wants… only to realize everything she’s looking for might be in the very place they've sworn to leave.

As both Reagan and Victoria struggle to learn who they are and what they want in the present, they discover just how much they don't know about each other's pasts. And when each learns what the other’s been hiding, they'll have to decide whether their friendship has a future.

"Thank you, Dahlia, for writing this book. The world needs it; people who were like me in high school need it."

Disclaimer: This review is based of of the ARC, which I won from the author in a giveaway. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

Every time I read a book written by someone I know and love, I hope that I won't be disappointed because that might create awkward situations. But once again, I need not have worried. Dahlia and her books are forces to be reckoned with, and it's part of why I love them.

There is no doubt that the book's strength is its focus on a strong, positive friendship. Reagan and Victoria's relationship is so solid and so important. So often, books focus on romantic relationships or on friends that tear one another down. While those are certainly real experiences, so many of us hope to have or have the kind of friendship that Victoria and Reagan do. I love how they complement each other while also being completely different. I think my best friend Jess and I are like that in many ways. While we definitely have some things in common, we're both very different people. Yet, she's one of the people I'm closest to, and I can't imagine how much more horrible high school would have been without her. Just Visiting made me think about all of my own experiences with her in high school, and while it wasn't quite like that of Reagan and Victoria, their friendship reminded me of how much I treasure my own, both now in college and before in high school.

Another one of Dahlia's strengths is writing complex, intersectional characters who develop throughout the book. It's something that can become easy to expect from all books after you've read a book or two by Dahlia, but then you remember/realize that it doesn't carry across all books (which is sad and terrifying to think about and needs to be changed). But more than having these characters, I love how the different parts of them don't necessarily define who they are. Certainly, being Mexican is a huge part of her identity and shapes who she is, but there's more to her than being Mexican. It's a central theme but not the only one. Almost all of the bigger characters (Reagan, Victoria, Dev, "Freckles," all the parents, etc) in the book are intersectional in different ways, but they are not token characters hoping to give the author and the book diversity points. Instead, it's genuine and reflects how many people in real life are.

Dahlia also has a way of writing heartbreaking tensions and conflicts and excels at weaving a story in a way that makes you smile and laugh in one moment and cry in the next. There's just something I love about her writing and the way she tells stories. I hope she never loses that magic.

Speaking of magic, she also writes the most amazing, magical romances and romantic scenes. *swoons* And I love how while it is a big part of the story, it's not all that there is. In fact, there's so much more said about "the future," the uncertainness of it. I actually recently wrote a blog post on Infinite Golden Floors about my own doubts over my future. It's not something that goes away once you're in college. I've only just started, but so many of my upperclassmen friends have no idea either. But to be honest, do most people ever truly know? But it's especially daunting when you're on the cusp of entering a new part of your life, whether that's graduating high school or graduating college. With my younger sister and many of my friends applying to colleges now and having just gone through the process myself last year, I completely understand that feeling as a high school senior of having to get ready to leave everything behind--all the friends and people you've known most of your life, your home, etc. Of course, not everyone leaves home and some people do stay friends, but again, it's not something you can know for sure. And choosing a college is difficult too--it has to be affordable, be in a desirable location, have your intended major (if you're going in with one), etc. It's so much and can be so overwhelming, but it's also so much better when you have a friend to get through it with you. And to see struggle in book characters can make the feeling so much more validating, can make some feel so much less alone.

It's funny I rated this 4.5 because now that I'm writing this book, I'm not sure what criticism I had for this book. Maybe it was that I felt like something was missing, some missing piece. It may have had something to do with the parents or with wanting certain things to have been talked about a bit more (like how Reagan was forced to type up an assignment even though her teacher knew she wasn't able to at home and would have to go to the trouble of finding another way to get it done). But those are so minuscule when you look at everything else in this book.

If you haven't read any of Dahlia's books yet, I'm not sure what you're waiting for. She always writes the most amazing stories that never fail to make an impact. Thank you, Dahlia, for writing this book. The world needs it; people who were like me in high school need it. And to all the high school seniors out there, you are not alone. You can make it through.

Just Visiting: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Dahlia Adler: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

A Celebration of Diversity, Friendship, and Geek Culture | Review: An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes by Randy Ribay (ARC)

An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes by Randy Ribay
Publisher: Merit Press
Release Date: October 16th, 2015

As their senior year approaches, four diverse friends joined by their weekly Dungeons & Dragons game struggle to figure out real life. Archie's trying to cope with the lingering effects of his parents' divorce, Mari's considering an opportunity to contact her biological mother, Dante's working up the courage to come out to his friends, and Sam's clinging to a failing relationship. The four eventually embark on a cross-country road trip in an attempt to solve--or to avoid--their problems.

Disclaimer: I received a copy for review, but this did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

"At the heart of the story, it's about coming together during hard times. It's about trust and acceptance."

I haven't been seeing this book around the book community, and I wish more people were talking about it. For all the talk about diversity, An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes is such a great example of a book that seamlessly features diverse characters. Though those aspects of the characters are important to their story and their identity, it's not the main focus of the story.

I enjoyed the different characters, though I don't think any of them really stuck to me or really impressed me. They were all at a level playing field, and there were merits and great parts of all their story arcs. Sure, there were some characters who annoyed or angered me at times. There were others I really cheered on. I didn't really like the way their perspectives were split in blocks rather than with switching chapters because it made the overlaps a bit awkward, but I thought each portion was comprehensive and interesting.

What really made this book great was the focus on friendship and overall geek culture. Though the reason they are going on a cross-country trip is concerning, they stick together and look out for one another. They all have their own issues, and they, at times, forget about the fact that everyone else is going through things too. But at the heart of the story, it's about coming together during hard times. It's about trust and acceptance. I don't play D&D, but I love that the story depicts a group of people who originally came together because of a mutual interest but then grew to something more. SO many of my friendships came about this way, but it's rarely depicted in books.

The book was a pretty quick read, though a bit slow/dragging at times. It was easy to get caught up in everyone's drama, and I loved when story lines finally intersected. We got to see some select scenes from both/all perspectives, and it really shows how we think we pay attention to others, when we really spend a lot of time thinking only of ourselves--not in a selfish way, necessarily.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. The cover still makes me so happy every time I see it, though there's no concrete reason why. I love the geek love. I wasn't wowed by the book, but I would recommend it, particularly if you're looking for another "diverse" read.

An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Randy Ribay: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

Mini Review: We Should Hang Out Sometime by Josh Sundquist (ARC)

We Should Hang Out Sometime by Josh Sundquist
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Release Date: December 23rd, 2014

A bright, poignant, and deeply funny autobiographical account of coming of age as an amputee cancer survivor, from Josh Sundquist: Paralympic ski racer, YouTube star, and motivational speaker.

Josh Sundquist only ever had one girlfriend.
For twenty-three hours.
In eighth grade.

Why was Josh still single? To find out, he tracked down the girls he had tried to date and asked them straight up: What went wrong?

The results of Josh's semiscientific, wholly hilarious investigation are captured here. From a disastrous Putt-Putt date involving a backward prosthetic foot, to his introduction to CFD (Close Fast Dancing), to a misguided "grand gesture" at a Miss America pageant, this story is about looking for love--or at least a girlfriend--in all the wrong places.

Disclaimer: I received an eARC via NetGalley. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

I was originally interested in this book because I have never been in a romantic relationship, and I thought this book would offer at least a little of insight as to why that might be. Or rather, why it was like that for someone else. I also heard that Josh is hilarious, and I was interested to see what he had to say on the matter.

Perhaps my favorite part was all the diagrams and the various other ways he presented information outside of the normal text. These portions were amongst the most hilarious and often presented information that wouldn't have been as funny in text form. Josh's writing itself is pretty straightforward and blunt, which I enjoyed. However, as funny as parts of it were, I think I was expecting much more humor, and I only got a little bit of that.

Something else I had a problem with was the way the book was the way he split up his stories, making them seem like scientific experiments. I guess I could understand why he made the decision to split up the stories and girls in that way, but it bothered me a bit. Not only were some sections clearly weaker than others, but it made it seem as though females can be understood in this scientific way rather than understanding their complexities.

I do think that he did a pretty good job of exploring his thoughts on the reason he hadn't been in a romantic relationship before. For the most part, he kept me interested. But it was pretty clear what his real message was--probably similar to the message he gives at various speaker events. I didn't necessarily have a problem with this, but at times, it was a bit overwhelming and so obvious, and I was hoping it wouldn't be. I did appreciate his message though, and I think it's an important one which I connected to it a lot. He seems awkward the way I am, but it's important to see how self-worth and acceptance may be a huge part of this and can at least be a huge first step.

We Should Hang Out Sometime: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Josh Sundquist: Website | Twitter | Facebook | Youtube

Review: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon (ARC)

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers
Release Date: September 1st, 2015

My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.

Disclaimer: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley. This doesn't affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

"I wasn't fully convinced by the story and a lot of it seemed unrealistic to me."

Woah is this a hyped book in the blogging community right now! I started reading this right around the time the hype really took off, so I had pretty high expectations. The premise of the story is really interesting and totally new, and the cover is simply gorgeous.

The first thing I noticed about the book was the format. The mixed format/mixed media was very well done. At times, we got to see the story from both Maddy and Olly's point of view (but not in the traditional sense), and it was spaced out enough that it was tasteful and didn't overwhelm. It added to the story and was certainly effective. The short chapters also make this a quick read without feeling choppy.

But I finished feeling conflicted about the book and the story. I think we got a good sense of the characters, particularly Maddy and Olly, and the two of them were certainly complex, but there was little else. Of course, it makes sense because Maddy hardly knows anyone, but I felt like we were missing something in that. There could have been more development in the other characters, but I could also understand the focus on Maddy and Olly. Their interactions were one of my favorite parts of the first half of the story. But later on in the book, I just started to find so much of it to be completely irrational, and I couldn't see that ever happening, logistically and otherwise. It left me feeling unconvinced, uncomfortable, and almost annoyed. When they [SPOILERS] ran away together, I just felt so uncomfortable about the whole situation. It just seemed so unrealistic, particularly given the circumstances they're both in--but particularly Maddy. [END SPOILERS]

In addition, though I started off really supporting their relationship, that started to change as the story went on. There's something about the way in which the relationship developed that just bothered me. I hated feeling as though she just fell for Olly because he was a guy that just happened to pay attention to her. I can understand how refreshing that may have felt for her, but I feel as though her feelings developed more from that than from really being attracted to him as a person. The romance arc felt a bit like that of Romeo and Juliet.

But the biggest thing that irked me was probably Maddy's illness itself and the way it was portrayed and explained. After reading Cait's review, I realized that I had found similar plot holes, though I didn't really think about it until after I finished reading. But even beyond that, unlike many others, the ending honestly didn't surprise me. There were hints along the way that weren't difficult for me to piece together. I don't want to spoil anything, but it was just so obvious to me. I had expected it early on in the story. In addition, her body's reaction to being outside seemed wrong to me. If you're in a sterile environment your whole life and haven't been exposed to almost anything and all of a sudden go out into the world, where you're surrounded by different bacteria and just things (I'm not science-y enough to really say any of this for sure) that your body has never built up a resistance to, you're going to get sick pretty quickly. But oh look, Maddy is fine. I mean, it does help build up to the reveal at the end, but at the same time, it's not consistent with someone who's been so sheltered her entire life. (Speaking of that, it's so sad that her mother would subject her to that kind of life. I can understand her mother's motivation, but I think part of learning how to live and take care of yourself and be safe is to be in situations where you have to help yourself. Without life experiences, how can you grow? How can you learn to save yourself? Her mother's logic just astounds me.)

Overall, I enjoyed the story, but it wasn't as great to me as it seems to have been for others. I wasn't fully convinced by the story and a lot of it seemed unrealistic to me. I didn't like the way chronic illness was addressed and used as a plot device. But I didn't hate the story, the characters, or the book either. It just didn't have the wow factor at all. I can see why others would enjoy it, but this didn't completely work for me.

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Nicola Yoon: Website | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram 

Review: Those Girls by Lauren Saft (ARC)

Those Girls by Lauren Saft
Publisher: Poppy
Release Date: June 9th, 2015

Junior year, the suburbs of Philadelphia. Alex, Mollie and Veronica are those girls: they're the best of friends and the party girls of the school. But how well does everybody know them--and really, how well do they know one another? Alex is secretly in love with the boy next door and has joined a band--without telling anyone. Mollie suffers from a popular (and possibly sociopathic) boyfriend, as well as a serious mean streak. And Veronica just wants to be loved--literally, figuratively, physically....she's not particular. Will this be the year that bonds them forever....or tears them apart for good?

Lauren Saft masterfully conveys what goes on in the mind of a teenage girl, and her debut novel is raw, honest, hilarious, and thought-provoking, with a healthy dose of heart.

"To say that I enjoyed it wouldn't be entirely correct but to say that I didn't wouldn't be either. I think this book is important, and I think it's important to see some characters whose morals we can't/won't/will never agree with."

Disclaimer: I received an ARC from NOVL. This didn't affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for it.

I was really struggling with this book when I started reading it. I started it maybe two months before its release date, thinking that that would be more than enough time. Unfortunately, I didn't even finish half of it before its release date. The reason I was struggling was that I struggled to care about the characters. The three main characters were just such seemingly terrible people. I really only semi cared about one of their story lines, but even then, it was often weak. But then I read Grace @ Words Like Silver's post/discussion about morality in YA, tying it directly to Those Girls. And it really made me think and made me think about the book, the characters, and its importance.

As I mentioned, I really didn't like the characters and only really semi liked one for the first quarter of the novel. The girls were just horrible. To everyone. Including one another. They tore people down, used words and talked about things that I hate to read, hate to hear, etc, they seemed to have such petty problems that they brought on themselves. They drank too much, partied too much, everything too much. And I hated that because it reminded me of everything I hated about high school. It reminded me of those girls. Which is the whole point, I guess. But I was tired of it all. I was nearing graduation, when I could finally leave these people, start over, get out.

But as I made myself continue on, wanting to be able to properly take part in Grace's discussion, my opinion started changing. I still hated a lot of the things they said and did, but I started to understand the girls a little bit better. I could see Alex's insecurity within myself. I could see her missing opportunities, taking things the wrong way, and I realized that maybe I had been a bit like that too. She was the one that I identified with and cared about most in the book. I was really rooting for her. Molly, whom everyone seems to characterize as the meanest, didn't come across as mean to me as she seems to have to other people. I could see how she said things to protect herself. I hated seeing her struggle to get out of a horrible relationship. I hated seeing how much she needed someone and how much she thought she was all alone. She started to grow on me, and I came to root for her too. Veronica is the only one of the three girls I still couldn't come to like by the end. Yes, perhaps I did come to feel bad for her, but ugh, almost everything about her bothered me. Even with all of her own struggles, she's like the epitome of all those girls I couldn't stand in high school.

I find it interesting that so many people DNFed this because they couldn't find this story believable. They couldn't believe that girls would tear one another down this much. They couldn't stand that these girls were being so mean to one another--their supposed best friends! They couldn't take all the partying and the drinking and the drugs. But you know what? As much as I hate those things too, it's actually not that far of a stretch. It's actually pretty close to reality, pretty close to what those girls do. And it's funny because most of the reviewers saying the above things are adults; I think many high schoolers would agree with me. It's not that uncommon. It's not too extreme. It happens. It's reality, and it's a reality for many of those girls, or so I assume, never having been one of them. So I think it's important to not discount this book right away on those counts. I also think that that's where Grace's post on morality really came into focus for me. Just because we don't agree, just because we can't see ourselves doing all of that, doesn't mean it's not real and doesn't mean that they should be censored from the books that are published.

I definitely don't agree with the blurb that this book has "a healthy dose of heart," but I do think this book is important. Despite it being anti everything I believe in, at least on the surface, I did come to understand the girls a bit better. I could see some of my own struggles within theirs, although they aren't very similar in its causes. I saw my own insecurities and fears. I saw that maybe I had gone about things the wrong way too. I saw that the girls tearing one another down behind one another's back wasn't all that different from some of my friends. Some reviewers say they don't understand the girls backstabbing one another, and I could understand. So many of their problems stemmed from the fact that they didn't listen to one another, didn't talk to one another. They were too caught up in their own problems. But I don't know, I think many of us are like this. I think many of us don't stop to think about how we communicate with others, with our friends, too. The book made me think about how I communicate with the people I know, especially my friends. I can't imagine how many arguments and fights and horrible times could have been avoided if maybe we all stopped being so insecure and so caught up in our own head and problems and worries and started talking. The girls had so many of the same fears and insecurities but didn't realize. They didn't speak up. And I found that I identified with many of the thoughts they had about their friends and about themselves. It rang true to me. And it's both scary and important. It's important because it made me think about all of those girls that I hated, all of those girls I hated without really getting to know. Not that they would have likely wanted to get to know me and not that we had anything in common, but I think that maybe I started to see that there's more to them. It's not like I didn't think about it before, but between this book and graduation, I just stopped caring. I stopped caring about how different those girls are. I stopped caring about their partying and drinking and drugs. I stopped caring about what they thought of me. Because we all have our own problems, and it does me no good to be so caught up with them. Because I think I secretly cared more than I thought I did. Not in that I cared about them per say but in that we feed these people's popularity, and in the end, it doesn't even matter to those of us on the outside. And I think that showing their experiences are important to us too because it's important to understand them as people too. It's important to not judge them so quickly. It's important to realize that they're not anything more or less than we are. You don't have to agree with what they do to understand them on a more complex level. People aren't just their actions.

When I realized this and started to actually care about the issues and started rooting for certain characters, I found myself wanting to read more and more of the book. I wanted to know what was going to happen to the girls next. I wanted to see if everything I was hoping for would fall into place as it does with most books. And then that one thing happened, and I just felt so mad and disappointed, not only in the characters but also in the author, because I thought that the story could have ended nicely, could have ended well. I thought that the book should have ended well. And what happened also brought into question everything I had begun to think about Alex and Molly, and I just couldn't deal with what they did. Because I could excuse a lot of other stuff, but what they did was inexcusable. It's illegal and totally wrong and stupid. And if the girls just talked to each other, if Alex hadn't been so scared, if Alex had voiced her fear and her opinion on not actually wanting to do it, if Veronica and Alex just admitted stuff, if Molly had told her friends how lonely she felt, maybe things would have turned out differently. And then the ending left me feeling so conflicted. At the moment I finished the book, I couldn't believe the book just ended like that and ended on such a bad/good note. It was a good moment but still bad circumstances. And I wanted a happy ending. But I've come to realize that I love that Saft chose to end the book how she did because it shows that we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. And more than that, it shows how sometimes we stick with the people who hurt us most because there's too much history, there's too much insecurity, and there's also too much complexity--because the people who hurt us most can sometimes also be the ones we feel we need most. This was so important to me once I realized this because it summarized so much of my own experience in middle/high school. I stuck with some friends that I probably shouldn't have, that caused more harm than good for me mentally and emotionally, but I couldn't walk away, even after something bad happened (though nowhere near as bad or illegal as in Those Girls).

So when I finished the book, I had a hard time putting together my thoughts and rating the book. To say that I enjoyed it wouldn't be entirely correct but to say that I didn't wouldn't be either. I think this book is important, and I think it's important to see some characters whose morals we can't/won't/will never agree with. Because despite what some may think, such people exist and are out there, and I think we can learn from understanding their experiences and because I think this book showed me how similar we can be, even if not in the ways we can immediately identify. We're all human after all. The book does a great job of showing the thoughts of the three girls, giving us insight into how bad things start and spiral. The book rang true to me, and the truth--the reality--hidden in it surprised me in a good way.

This book certainly isn't for everyone. I understand all the people who DNF'd the book. I almost did too. But now I'm glad I read the book, if only because it really made me think, more so than I could have ever thought I would with this book.

Those Girls: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Lauren Saft: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

Review: The Sunlit Night by Rebecca Dinerstein (ARC)

The Sunlit Night by Rebecca Dinerstein
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: June 2nd, 2015

In the beautiful, barren landscape of the Far North, under the ever-present midnight sun, Frances and Yasha are surprised to find refuge in each other. Their lives have been upended--Frances has fled heartbreak and claustrophobic Manhattan for an isolated artist colony; Yasha arrives from Brooklyn to fulfill his beloved father's last wish: to be buried “at the top of the world.” They have come to learn how to be alone.

But in Lofoten, an archipelago of six tiny islands in the Norwegian Sea, ninety-five miles north of the Arctic Circle, they form a bond that fortifies them against the turmoil of their distant homes, offering solace amidst great uncertainty. With nimble and sure-footed prose, Dinerstein reveals that no matter how far we travel to claim our own territory, it is ultimately love that gives us our place in the world.

"I just got the sense that the plot and characters weren't entirely developed but was looked over because of the (still) gorgeous writing."

I basically knew nothing about this going into it. I was just interested because of the awesome cover. The first thing I noticed when I started reading was Dinerstein's writing, and it remained one of the highlights of the novel. She writes in such a soothing, calm, and poetic/lyrical manner. The words seem to flow together, and the visual descriptions are such a treat. I felt like I could picture Lofoten and all the areas in the book well, with the exception of, surprisingly, Brooklyn.

I really enjoyed the first half of this book. It felt so refreshing and just nice to read such lyrical, "pretty" writing. However, once that started to fade and become less of a draw in, the book began to disappoint me.

The characters seemed interesting at first/at first glance, but I felt as though I hardly got to know them. Some of the characters didn't feel their age, namely the main characters, Yasha and Frances. Their romance felt stilted and awkward and forced, only made worse by the fact that the writing seemed to convey that they were much further apart in age than they actually were. And while I appreciated the easy mentions of sex and other mature subjects, it honestly just made me feel awkward and weird, more because of execution and situation than anything, but nevertheless uncomfortable to read.

In addition, although I enjoyed the exploration of family and broken families, I didn't find the conflicts, or plot in general, very compelling. At first, they interested me, more because they were areas that had so much potential to be expanded upon than anything, but that soon faded as well. I found that the book began to get repetitive, and once I could start to see the direction of the plot, it didn't hold my interest anymore. There wasn't a huge climax or really a huge conflict. There were relationships that I thought would be explored more and Dinerstein could have done that well, but she just left it. Even though there was a fairly large cast of characters, it didn't really ever feel that way. And so the book started to drag--a lot--and there wasn't much that made me want to keep reading. It was mostly just the thought of her lyrical writing and the thought that I was almost at the end. The ending, too, however, left much to be desired. While I enjoyed it more than the bulk of the last half of the book, I also thought that it tried to do too much, sum up too much, all at once.

By the end, I didn't feel as though most of the characters had much depth--most of Yasha's character arc centered around his father, his mother, and his feelings for Frances, while most of Frances' character arc centered around her parents and her sister/her sister's wedding. I just got the sense that the plot and characters weren't entirely developed but was looked over because of the (still) gorgeous writing. But this book certainly didn't help my slump and only made it harder for me to push through and finish the book.

The Sunlit Night: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Rebecca Dinerstein: Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

Review: The Heartbreakers by Ali Novak (ARC)

The Heartbreakers by Ali Novak
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Release Date: August 4th, 2015

"When I met Oliver Perry, I had no clue he was the lead singer for The Heartbreakers. Unbeknownst to him, I was the only girl in the world who hated his music."

Since Cara's health has been deteriorating, all Stella Walter can think about is trying to cheer her sister up. Her life revolves around Cara to the point where Stella drops out of one of the country's top photography programs so she can spend what little time she has left with her sick sister.

With Cara's birthday around the corner, Stella wants to get her the perfect gift. An autographed poster of her sister's favorite boy band should do the trick. Sounds simple enough, right? But life isn't always so easy.

Not only does Stella hate The Heartbreakers because of their terrible music, but when she realizes that the cute boy she met at Starbucks is really Oliver Perry, the lead singer of the band, her life seems to spin out of control...

Will Stella be able to swallow her pride and get the autograph that she so desperately needs to make Cara happy? And will Oliver be able to show Stella how to live her own life again?

Meet... The Heartbreakers.

"It wasn't spectacular, but it was a cute read."

Disclaimer: I received an eARC via NetGalley. This didn't affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

I can't say I went into this with high expectations. I already figured it would be a fluffy, light, quick read, and so on that front, it didn't disappoint! If you're looking for a cute and easy read, this is the book for you. I loved the photography aspects, as well as the insight into what it's like to be part of a boy band and to know people who are in said boy band. This would make for a great beach read. The book is predictable and a bit cliche, but I think that sometimes it's okay, and this is one of those times.

That being said, the book was still far from perfect, as expected. I thought that we were given a great and interesting, albeit not very diverse, cast of characters, but it felt sort of wasted. So much more could have been done with the characters, and I felt that nothing was done with that potential. The characters, particularly some of the boys, felt flat. I could get a sense of their personalities, but I couldn't get much more from them and their interactions with Stella. Now, maybe that's not so much a problem, but I feel like having spent so much time with the boys, Stella would have gotten to see more of the layers. We start to get into it with Alec, but it felt more like skimming the surface than really exploring the layers of him as a person.

As mentioned earlier, the book is fairly predictable and a bit cliched, but that's sort of a given when you read the blurb. Like you already know it's gonna be like that, so it wasn't as big of a deal to me. However, the pacing was off at times. It would drag in many places, and I never really felt completely engaged with the story. I didn't find it difficult to put down the book or anything like that. The book and its plot were good and decent, and I did enjoy reading it, but it didn't wow me. It's fine for a one sitting read (hence beach/pool day read), but it wasn't the kind of book that left me needing to pick it up again. Even the climax didn't seem like a big deal to me, likely because of the way it was handled/written. It could have been a big blow up and could have caused so much more of a problem--both parts of the climax--but it just never got there.

Lastly, while I appreciated the message and the lesson that Stella learned, I question whether she really learned it at all. I found the book a bit unfeminist in that it seemed that Stella never really did anything for herself or on her own accord. She leaves the guys after what Oliver did, but she also left to go back to her sister, who had a medical complication. She didn't even apply to SVA on her own and was hesitant to do so on her own; instead, one of the guys helps her/convinces her to do it. Oftentimes, one of the guys helps her pick which photos to use, and she goes along with it without questioning it or thinking twice. We never really get a sense of her taking the photos or of her mindset when she's in the moment and taking a picture for her job. It's mostly just her with the guys--almost always with the guys but without the sense of her doing her actual job. I feel like the ending was supposed to show her being independent, having made her own choice and chasing her own dreams and doing what she wants, but it's hard to see that as separate from what others are telling her/pushing her to do. I don't know...it just didn't sit completely right with me.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. It wasn't spectacular, but it was a cute read. I loved the interactions between the characters, and I loved seeing the growth of Oliver and Stella's relationship. I liked the behind-the-scenes feel and the photography aspects, and this is the kind of summer contemporary I'd love to read at the beach. It's far from perfect, but it was a solid read that delivers what you expect of it. There are tough issues, but they don't weigh down the book or give it a darker tone, which fits this type of read. This book is a great fluffy read for when you don't want to think too much about what you're reading.

The Heartbreakers: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Ali Novak: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Review: Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone (ARC)

Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
Release Date: June 16th, 2015

If you could read my mind, you wouldn't be smiling.

Samantha McAllister looks just like the rest of the popular girls in her junior class. But hidden beneath the straightened hair and expertly applied makeup is a secret that her friends would never understand: Sam has Purely-Obsessional OCD and is consumed by a stream of dark thoughts and worries that she can't turn off.

Second-guessing every move, thought, and word makes daily life a struggle, and it doesn't help that her lifelong friends will turn toxic at the first sign of a wrong outfit, wrong lunch, or wrong crush. Yet Sam knows she'd be truly crazy to leave the protection of the most popular girls in school. So when Sam meets Caroline, she has to keep her new friend with a refreshing sense of humor and no style a secret, right up there with Sam's weekly visits to her psychiatrist.

Caroline introduces Sam to Poet's Corner, a hidden room and a tight-knit group of misfits who have been ignored by the school at large. Sam is drawn to them immediately, especially a guitar-playing guy with a talent for verse, and starts to discover a whole new side of herself. Slowly, she begins to feel more "normal" than she ever has as part of the popular crowd . . . until she finds a new reason to question her sanity and all she holds dear.

"The book is so, so powerful."

"[The] kind of empowerment [Sam feels by the end] is refreshing and amazing to read about, especially as someone who's still struggling every day."

Disclaimer: I got an eARC from the publisher through NetGalley. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

Oh, wow. I had heard that people were loving the book, and I was so hoping I would enjoy it too. And boy did this book deliver. Now, I just want to say that this review might get a tad bit personal at points, so feel free to skip over that if you don't particularly care about those portions. {I also have to admit that I've been putting off this review for a while because it's been so hard for me to get everything I want to say across.}

Every Last Word is so, so raw, and it gives such a deep look into a teen living with OCD. I'm glad Stone didn't choose to use the form of OCD that most of us are familiar with. Instead, Sam has obsessional OCD, and her particular obsession is with the dark thoughts in her head. In so many ways, I could see myself in Sam, though not to her extent. I could relate so well--maybe too well--to all her self-doubt and to all the negative thoughts in her head, especially when it came to thinking about herself. At times, it was a little too close to my own thoughts and experiences, and I had to step back and take a breath, take a moment. But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It's so important for this to be talked about and for other people to get a sense of all the attacking thoughts many people struggle with on a daily basis. It's easy to say that we understand, but it's hard to really get a sense of the daily struggle. The struggle to accept and love yourself is one of the toughest battles, in my opinion, because you're the one attacking yourself, and it's hard to stop letting that take over your every thought.

Another aspect I really appreciated was seeing the relationship between Sam and her therapist. Oftentimes, there's a negative feeling associated with therapists; people don't want to see therapists because they feel embarassed or feel that they don't need one. I'm not going to pretend that I wasn't one of those people for a long, long time. It was actually through reading books such as Every Last Word that I've recently seen how much they do and how much they can help. I still don't think I could justify making my parents pay so much for a therapist, but I can't help but think about how different things might have occurred if I had gone to see a therapist. So it was so nice to be able to see Sam's healthy, good relationship with her therapist (whose name I can't remember at the moment oops).

Yet another part that I so deeply appreciated and related to was Sam's struggle to get out of her group of friends. Part of the reason I had such a bad time in middle and high school was because of the group of friends I made in middle school and sort of stuck with. I was like Sam. I wanted to get out of it, but we had so many experiences and memories together, and I wasn't strong enough to remove myself. In some ways, I'm glad I stayed because otherwise I wouldn't have become so close to my best friend, but at the same time, I think I could have been so much happier. It's not that I don't like the people I'm friends with--some of them are wonderful and great, but for many reasons, we've grown apart. However, because I find it hard to make new friends and because I was scared of just letting go of friendships that once meant a lot to me, I found myself stuck, much like Sam was. I don't think I could ever do what she ended up doing at the end, but I really look up to her for it. For all the people who say they don't understand or that it's not realistic or that it's weird or that question why it was such a big deal and why she couldn't just leave them, it's much more complicated than that. Trust me. For some of us, it's easier said than done, and it's especially hard when you have self-esteem issues. And some people have wondered how they didn't notice what was happening with Sam. Sometimes people are caught up in their own problems. Sometimes you just get good at hiding it. It doesn't mean that at some point they were good friends to you. So I'm just glad Stone explored this issue because I think a lot of teens struggle through it but don't talk about it.

But moving on from the tough issues, I really enjoyed seeing Sam come out of her shell and learn to accept and love both herself and others. The book is so, so powerful. Sam uses her writing and the help of those in the Poet's Corner to help her work through her struggles. It's always amazing when you find such a supportive group of people, and I wish something like that had existed for me and that I could have the courage to go look for those opportunities and people. I'm not lying when I say that Every Last Word has inspired me to take more chances in my own life. The entire cast of characters is diverse in so many ways. Each has their own struggles and obstacles, but it's amazing to see them come together to help one another through it. They all have their own distinct personalities. I loved watching all of Sam's relationships--with AJ, Emily, Caroline, Abigail, Sydney, Jessica, etc--change and grow. What I appreciated most of all was how they all helped her throughout the book, especially AJ, but how in the end, it was really her getting through it for herself. With the help of her friends and her therapist, she was able to save herself. It wasn't because of them that she was able to heal so much; it was because of herself. That kind of empowerment is refreshing and amazing to read about, especially as someone who's still struggling every day.

Moving on, the plot moved quickly, and it wasn't hard to just keep reading, getting sucked into the story. But then THAT PLOT TWIST. It's funny because I should have seen it coming. I had actually been questioning why the character was showing up less and less, but I guess I couldn't think so far to have connected it to what it really was. I was blown away and had to put the book down then go back through the book and look at the parts of the story where the character was there. But beyond what it did for the plot, I think it really helped to emphasize the idea that it was Sam who had to help herself and how even though she had help, it came down to herself. But woah.

I didn't find the book perfect, but I think that the above parts definitely made up for the tiny things. This book is so important and means so much to me (and I'm sure many others). It's the kind of book I hope everyone will read at some point.

Every Last Word: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Tamara Ireland Stone: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram | YouTube

Review: Alex as Well by Alyssa Brugman (ARC)

Alex as Well by Alyssa Brugman
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co (BYR)
Release Date: January 20th, 2015

Alex is ready for things to change, in a big way. Everyone seems to think she’s a boy, but for Alex the whole boy/girl thing isn’t as simple as either/or, and when she decides girl is closer to the truth, no one knows how to react, least of all her parents. Undeterred, Alex begins to create a new identity for herself: ditching one school, enrolling in another, and throwing out most of her clothes. But the other Alex—the boy Alex—has a lot to say about that.　Heartbreaking and droll in equal measures, Alex As Well is a brilliantly told story of exploring gender and sexuality, navigating friendships, and finding a place to belong.

Disclaimer: I read an ARC version of this book and received it from a friend. This obviously didn't affect my review in any way.

I went into this book with high expectations. It's one of the diverse reads I had been eyeing, though I hadn't heard much about it in the blogosphere. Perhaps I should just stop expecting so much of books from now on because this is another one that sadly disappointed me.

The premise is what really drew me in, but it's the execution that pulled me out of the story. At the heart, I still like the story. It follows Alex as she tries to deal with her parents, peers, and society, all while also trying to figure out the confusion that is her sex and gender. There is so little out there about intersex people, so I'm happy that this exists for them.

But for me, the book was just too much. I know it's a huge struggle, even more so than the struggle many others in the LGBT+ community feel, and I know I can't really judge because I'm obviously not in the situation Alex is in, nor will I ever be. However, I felt like Alex's voice was really what kept me from getting everything out of the book that I should have. I thought the internal struggle was incredibly well-written, but Alex's voice often reminded me of Charlie (Perks of Being a Wallflower), Pudge (Looking for Alaska), etc's voice, and I have a really hard time connecting with and reading books with that type of voice. It wasn't anything I held against Alex, but it was just the way it was written. But I do think it's so important that this book exists because I know others who loved this book and because diversity and awareness is important, and this is a step towards that.

Even on top of that, however, was that I just couldn't stand Alex's parents, especially her mother. I mean, I know that it's probably very real and realistic for some people, but as horrible as I feel saying this, it was too much for me to handle, reading wise. I too wanted to punch her in the face every single time she spoke or we saw her blog posts. I feel like the blog posts were supposed to show her point of view/side and maybe make us feel some sympathy, but her ignorance and stubbornness and unwillingness to listen and be accepting just added fuel to the fire. So I could understand Alex and her feelings and emotions toward her mother, but ughh. I can't even imagine what it's like to go through that kind of torture in real life. I couldn't even handle it on the page.

Unfortunately, for these reasons, and for the fact that there wasn't anything that really compelled me to keep reading, I set the book aside, unfinished. I had originally planned on sticking through it and finishing the novel, but I've been reading so little lately, and I'm afraid it's going to bog me down and maybe even pull me back into a reading slump.

Alex as Well: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

Alyssa Brugman: Website | Twitter

Review: I'll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios (ARC)

I'll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co (BYR)
Release Date: February 3rd, 2015

If seventeen-year-old Skylar Evans were a typical Creek View girl, her future would involve a double-wide trailer, a baby on her hip, and the graveyard shift at Taco Bell. But after graduation, the only thing standing between straightedge Skylar and art school are three minimum-wage months of summer. Skylar can taste the freedom—that is, until her mother loses her job and everything starts coming apart. Torn between her dreams and the people she loves, Skylar realizes everything she’s ever worked for is on the line.

Nineteen-year-old Josh Mitchell had a different ticket out of Creek View: the Marines. But after his leg is blown off in Afghanistan, he returns home, a shell of the cocksure boy he used to be. What brings Skylar and Josh together is working at the Paradise—a quirky motel off California’s dusty Highway 99. Despite their differences, their shared isolation turns into an unexpected friendship and soon, something deeper.

"This is heartbreaking, inspiring, and poignant, and it delves deeply in many issues, many ones that most other books don't address."

Disclaimer: I received an eARC from the publisher via Netgalley. This doesn't affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this post.

Speaking bluntly, I absolutely loved I'll Meet You There. I don't doubt it'll be one of my favorite reads of 2015. This book has stuck with me long after I've finished reading it. This is heartbreaking, inspiring, and poignant, and it delves deeply in many issues, many ones that most other books don't address.

The plot is engaging, and it draws the reader right into the lives of the characters. It's hard not to get attached to the characters and the conflicts in their lives. I enjoyed the slow reveal of Josh's story. I wish we could have heard more from his perspective, but at the same time, what we got was perfect. It was just enough to provide pertinent information without being more than necessary. It gives readers a scary look into what it's like to deal with grief and PTSD. We see his struggle to re-find himself and to fit back into his old life after being in the military. We see his struggle to come to terms with the tragedy he had to deal with, and we get glimpses into how much Skylar has helped him. It also provides for situational irony as the reader learns about reasons why Josh won't do X or why he does X, which directly impacts Sky's story and her portions. We see both sides of the story, and at times, that's a really powerful device.

Skylar also goes through immense changes throughout the book, as she struggles with her own plethora of issues. I particularly liked how Demetrios used art and Sky's hobby of creating collages to effectively show how Sky's perception of Creek View changes as she changes. She's dealing with this dilemma of choosing between going to college and staying in Creek View to help her mother. She can't wait to get out of Creek View, and all she wants is to ensure that she doesn't get "stuck" and "trapped" in Creek View forever. But at the same time, her mother (as well as Sky but not to the extreme extent) is still grieving Sky's father's death. Her mother makes bad decisions and turns to alcohol, refusing to get help. Sky is the only person holding up the two of them. She's the one making a meager wage in the hopes of it being enough to support both herself and her mother. We see her struggle with poverty, and while it's resolved a little too simply for my taste, it's not something often seen and addressed in books. So many people live in poverty, yet rarely do we get such a deep look into the reality of their lives. It made me cry, and it broke my heart.

The other characters are similarly complex. Dylan, Sky's best friend, is a teen mom who's in love and who wants to stay in Creek View. It's interesting to see their relationship change and grow as the book progresses, especially after their big fight. It reminds me of the point many feminists make--that feminism isn't about making women go out and enter the work force or be in leadership positions; it's about allowing women to do what they want, just as men can choose to do what they want. If a woman wants to be a housewife or stay-at-home mom, so be it as long as it's her choice. Dylan reminds me of this. On the other side, Chris, Sky and Dylan's other best friend, can't wait to get out of Creek View and go far away. His family life greatly contrasts Sky's, and Sky is often jealous of his home situation. There's Sky's mom, whom we watch go through a great many trials and tribulations. While we're seeing it from Sky's point of view, there are also really humanizing moments that give us a glimpse into why she does what she does and acts in the way that she does. There's Marge, whose son was a war vet and committed suicide; her narrative plays alongside Sky and Josh's, partially because they work at her motel but largely because of how their stories and experiences are intertwined. Marge and Sky are pretty close, and Marge takes over as Sky's mother figure later in the book, while Marge's revelation about her son really connects with Josh's struggle. The characters are so human, and they deal with issues that we don't often see in books. They give readers a look into the hard lives many people live invisibly. It give the book a gritty quality but in a good way.

But that doesn't mean there aren't happy, light moments. They're sprinkled around in just the right places, leaving hope in the face of great despair. Demetrios does a great job at weaving the stories together. The book is a bit slow at the very beginning, but it picks up quickly. Before I knew it, I was flying through the book, unable to put it down and go to sleep until I had finished. There were lots of tears, but the ending was just so perfectly done. This is honestly one of the best books and one of the most well-written books I've read. I'll Meet You There is definitely a book I'll be recommending to people until the end of time.

You can also check out my review/analysis on Feminists Talk Books, which focuses less on plot and more on representation. Much of it I rephrased for this review, but I go a bit more in depth in the other post.

I'll Meet You There: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

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Review: All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven (ARC)

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
Publisher: Knopf
Release Date: January 6th, 2015

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him.

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the “natural wonders” of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It’s only with Violet that Finch can be himself—a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who’s not such a freak after all. And it’s only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet’s world grows, Finch’s begins to shrink.

"This book offers a poignant and painfully real look at mental illness and its effects. "

Disclaimer: I received an eARC from the publisher on NetGalley. This did not affect my review in any way, nor am I being compensated for this.

Wow, wow, wow. This book, you guys. I fell in love with the book for so many reasons. Perhaps the biggest reason was the way it discussed and looked at mental illness and how it affects those around the mentally ill as well. There's this exploration of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, of someone going through a really tough situation with little or no help. People don't understand. People don't know what to do or say. People pretend to ignore it, try to pretend that mental illness isn't a thing. People leave loved ones to fight on their own, sometimes knowingly and sometimes not knowingly. And sometimes, no matter how much we love someone and no matter how far they've come, the mental illness is still too much. It's horrible, and it's sad, but it's true.

All the Bright Places offers a painful real story of people living with grief and pain and mental illness. It's not glorified. It's not taken lightly. The ending fits the rest of the events of the book, and it's a bittersweet ending. Niven faces the issue head on and doesn't let the subject stop her from telling someone's story. But the book isn't completely sad either. Just like the end of the book, it's mostly bittersweet. There are happy moments, funny moments, but there are also many tough, rough moments, moments when the characters can't seem to bounce back from. This book offers a poignant and painfully real look at mental illness and its effects. 

On a separate note, I really enjoyed the exploration of Indiana. It's so refreshing to read a book that takes place somewhere usually forgotten about in books. I really like how the book focused on finding beauty in a place that most tend to view as boring. I think it goes well with the idea of find beauty in someone people forget to look at as a real person and someone people don't like to think about. And it just provides a great way to get to know Indiana a bit more. Every state needs a book like this!

However, while I thoroughly enjoyed the book, a few small aspects kept me from really, really loving it. First was the relationship between Finch and Violet. At times, especially towards the end, I was fully on board, but at first, their relationship just made me feel really awkward. I think it was the way Finch treated Violet. I really enjoy the two characters, and it's really interesting to see their journey throughout the book. They're both so complex, and it's really amazing to see the two of them grow closer and to see how that affects the both of them. But sometimes it was hard to be in Finch's head, as his voice sometimes reminded me of Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Pudge from Looking for Alaska. For me, it's the kind of voice that's just too much and too distant for me to handle, but of the three, I did like Finch the best overall (in terms of voice). But their relationship seemed rushed in the beginning and extremely one sided. I know part of it was that Violet was really hesitant because it's so far from who she was at the beginning, but it still made for a bit of awkwardness.

And lastly, there's that ending. I went through most of the book without crying, and I was feeling all good about not being one of the people that cried at the (near) ending, but then it was like nope! and all the tears came pouring down. But the thing is, I totally saw it coming. All the classic warning signs were there, and I couldn't understand how the other characters couldn't see it coming. Maybe it's because sometimes you don't want to see the hurt others are hiding and so you don't, and I guess some were too caught up in their own journey to fully understand someone else's. Maybe it's because you so badly want to, need to, believe that you've helped someone find their happiness that you fail to see what's really going on. Either way, I saw it coming, and at first I was kind of irked about this, but the thing is, after finding out that Niven went through a similar ordeal, I realized that sometimes, life just happens that way. Predictable when we look back on it but so shocking when it first happens because we just didn't see it coming, even if it was so painfully obvious. I can't criticize her for writing about life. It might not be the best choice for the book, but that's the difference between books and real life sometimes.

All the Bright Places: Goodreads | Amazon | B&N | Book Depository

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