Monday, May 16, 2016

College, Motivation, Changes, and Uncertainty

I have been putting off writing this post for many reasons, a main one which is that I want to sound more eloquent than I ever could. I haven't really thought through all of my thoughts, so this post may be all over the place, but this is something that I think is important to discuss here. (SEE THE BOTTOM FOR AN IMPORTANT UPDATE.)

I'm sure everyone knows this at this point, but I'm in my second semester of college. I convinced myself that I would be reading more this semester than I did the last. I looked at bloggers/booktubers/etc who also just started college and are still keeping up with their blogs/channels/etc. But I haven't been able to do that for a few reasons.

Firstly, there's already so much for me to do in terms of work load. I know everyone else does too and that some people do have it worse. I know that there are still so many opportune times for me to read. But I'm already doing so much dense reading and writing, and it's just tiring. I'm taking notes and analyzing and trying to comprehend. I'm researching. I'm doing textbook problems. I'm writing responses. Whatever. So when I have time, I want to do something that doesn't take as much mental energy. I've especially taken to watching Youtube videos again lately, but TV shows are also great. I love reading, but sometimes I just feel too mentally tired to read, if that makes sense, even if it's something that I want to read.

And tied to that is changing reading interests and expanding tastes. I'm trying to read less YA or at least balance it out more with classics, adult fiction, short stories, essay collections, etc, but with those, I tend to only be able to read them in short chunks before needing to put them down (and/or to go to sleep). In trying to read more widely, I've realized that even if I'm reading something I enjoy, it may require, or at least feels as if it does, more brain energy/power.

And this has also affected my actual blogging. There are other posts I planned to write about that wouldn't necessarily require me to be reading all the time, but the other problem is that it's spilled over into my blogging. There are a handful of posts that I've been meaning to write (beyond reviews), but I honestly just don't have the motivation when I have free time or when I'm procrastinating. Part of it is, again the energy aspect, and the other is just that it feels like a chore. There are books and topics I want to talk about, but I don't feel like doing it here. I've been talking more about stuff like this, for example,

If I'm being honest, so much of this all boils down to motivation, and I'm in this in-between space where I'm trying to figure out what I'm interested in as my every day life and every day conversations change. What speaks out to me and interests me is no longer exactly the same, and I haven't figured out how to reflect that here. So I'm not sure how to move forward from here at the moment. I will be posting some long overdue reviews over the course of the summer until I run out of those posts, but with a few exceptions, I don't think I'm going to do anything beyond that.

Which brings me to my last point. If you haven't seen the post/social media spam, Lit Up Review is no longer posting anymore. We all decided that this was the best course of action for all of us as most of the main writers transition into their college lives. As I wrote my farewell post and dwelled on it a bit, as well as on the long and frequent hiatuses I've taken here, I've decided to put this blog on a long-term hiatus for an indefinite amount of time. Like I said, I'll finish reviewing a few books, and then that'll be it for a while. I don't know if I will come back to this blog in the future or if I'll be inspired again, but for now, I've decided to put my energy into my newer, personal/lifestyle/travel blog, Infinite Golden Floors. I haven't been active there for a while because of similar time/motivation issues, but as I read more travel blogs, the more inspired I am, and I think that without having to think about Fly to Fiction will unburden me a bit. So if you'd still like to keep up and read what I'm up to, please check it out and follow/subscribe to me there. In addition, I'll still be on Twitter infrequently (sort of in the same way I have been since getting to college). I am hoping to increase my presence there again, but I'm also really into Instagram at the moment. I WILL still be posting book-ish things on the Fly to Fiction Instagram and will have any short book reviews there. I may have some book reviews on IGF as well, but it won't be as often. I am also hoping to work on The Book Trail and join them as the US Ambassador, so if you're interested in that, please check out the site.

So I want to say thank you for all your love and support over the years/along this journey. This is not yet the end, just a stop along the away, and we'll see where things go from here. If you'd like to support me, again, please check out Infinite Golden Floors, both the blog and the Instagram (shameless self promotion). I love you all, and I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from. It's sad, and I'm a little sad and disappointed in myself, but at the same time, this feels like a burden lifted. I had ideas I wanted to implement here, but I don't think this is the right time for me. Thanks again for everything, lovelies. See you soon! <3

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